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I spent a summer teaching at a high school with separate gender classrooms. One thing that stuck out was that the women were motivated from hearing them out and
by dayvid 3y ago
I spent a summer teaching at a high school with separate gender classrooms. One thing that stuck out was that the women were motivated from hearing them out and how they felt first and men were motivated by giving them a challenge.
To some extent, society is becoming more effeminate. This is a good thing in giving more opportunity for women, but there seems to be less space for men to grow or learn to be men. The main options seem to be Boy Scouts, martial arts classes, military, frats, father/older friends etc. or your out of luck and looking up to online grifters.
- vinyl7 3y agoUnfortunately Boy Scouts was commandeered by women and now allow girls to participate. So it's no longer a place for boys to be boys.
- dumpsterdiver 3y agoWhile I agree with your take about society, I disagree that boys have less space to be boys. Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. There will never be a shortage of boys who want to throw rocks and jump in mud until their feet get stuck.
- nightowl_games 3y ago> Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. This seems wildly overstated and naive. Things are rapidly changing. Forget the world, a mother alone has a massive influence on whether a child will engage in the behaviour you are describing. Yes, some children will shine through all odds stacked against them, but to put all your chips into nature over nurture isnt even close to reasonable.
- dumpsterdiver 3y ago> to put all your chips into nature over nurture isnt even close to reasonable It sounds like you're saying that "what we are" is less instrumental than "what we are told to be". We can agree to disagree.
- throwaway_45321 3y ago> Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. You are saying this based based off of.. what exactly? I disagree with this entirely. The world has a huge effect on what boys do. In a social media world driven by likes, clicks and endless consumption, you have to be very careful about what is said or done as it is easy for something to be take out of context, and magnified for the whole world to see.
- dumpsterdiver 3y ago> You are saying this based based off of.. what exactly? Based on the fact that boys are indeed boys, and hence, they will be boys.
- Doxin 3y ago> Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. I dunno man. In school it seems that gossiping is more or less accepted where roughhousing is clearly banned. That sure seems to me like the world is trying to repress at least part of "boys will be boys".
- qball 3y ago>In school it seems that gossiping is more or less accepted where roughhousing is clearly banned. In its majestic equality, the law prohibits boy and girl alike from engaging in socialization activities overwhelmingly favored by boys.
- dumpsterdiver 3y agoWell... the school prohibits it. The law actually allows for two combatants to engage in mutually agreed combat as long as they don't kill each other. That's completely legal.
- Doxin 3y agoI feel like sticking roughousing under "combat" is part of the problem
- dumpsterdiver 3y agoMaybe I'm an outlier, but I don't think so... during my teenage years my friends and I were pretty much constantly engaged in friendly combat. I'm talking weak body shots, Charlie horses, red bellies, that kind of thing. All in good fun, but we were absolutely engaged in combat. One of my fondest memories from my teenage years is visiting my older friends John and Kenny (who were only my friends because they used to babysit me), and Kenny put me into an iron cross and called everyone in to laugh at me and give me a red belly. Honestly, it was a bonding experience.
- mnsc 3y ago
- bavell 3y agoThis is so far off the mark I don't even know where to begin...
- 34679 3y agoBoys that "act like boys", (throwing rocks, etc) are given Adderall. Parents that refuse end up talking to child services.
- nicbou 3y agoWhat does it mean to learn to be men?
- granshaw 3y agoResilience, courage, strength
- csomar 3y agoDirty, loud, narcissistic, violent, etc...?
- dumdumchan 3y ago[flagged]
- globular-toast 3y agoIt means learning what is expected of a man in society.
- MisterBastahrd 3y agoSociety isn't becoming more effeminate. Society is losing some of the toxic masculinity because women are achieving leadership positions and have legal remedies available to them when men behave inappropriately. Parents are attempting to intervene appropriately. Besides, the default state of raising a boy in the United States is to abuse the child. Feelings? Not valid. Keep them to yourself. (This is how I ended up with depression at age 8 when my folks used me as a pawn in their religious dispute while my sisters sat there, oblivious) Pain? Not real. And even if it is, don't show weakness. (This is how I ended up with a burst appendix during a wilderness hike in the Boy Scouts) Your role? Provider. If you aren't providing, why are you even breathing? (This is the cause of a lot of breakups) Everyone knows that these are more or less true. It's something that should resonate with people regardless of their political affiliation. And every bit of it is emotional abuse. None of it is about "being a man or learning to be a man." There's nothing more dehumanizing for a child than to be told that their thoughts and feelings don't matter and that their reason for living is to work until they can't anymore.
- thatfunkymunki 3y agoi totally agree with this, and if you haven't read "For Your Own Good" and "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Alice Miller you would likely enjoy them.