5 ms·

Maybe because you spend too much time with girls who are "players" on the dating "game". insert meme about selection bias here There's a whole world out there

by aredox 3y ago

Maybe because you spend too much time with girls who are "players" on the dating "game". insert meme about selection bias here There's a whole world out there of fairly normal people who don't play those games. They are not in nightclubs. Try to live an actual life.

screye 3y ago
Where are these normal people you speak of ? University and highschool dating pools are heavily gendered, as women themselves will profess to dating toxic dudes through college. Once at work, dating apps and bars become the only accepted dating avenues, both of which are heavily gendered. There are other soft-dating venues like Co-Ed sports and workplaces, but non-traditionally attractive people often do not have the "charisma" to read "signs". So they run the risk of being considered creeps. I will be the first to say #notAllWomen, but every number is heavily skewed in a direction that promotes toxic masculinity.
darkerside 3y ago
This doesn't line up with my understanding of human nature. I never really got into pickup culture and have ended up incredibly lucky, so don't read any bitterness in this comment. The pickup game didn't come from nowhere. It culturally evolved because these techniques are extremely effective hacks on the human brain. There are elements of it that you can ethically utilize, but if you go all in on it, you are manipulating people to your own ends. This isn't a game some people play and some don't.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- davidguetta 3y ago
  Mm it's not even pick-up really. Pickup is about a bunch of catchy and cheesy lines and hacks as you say and it's not what I was referring to. I was mostly referring to the general idea tat woman are attracted to dominant, physically strong, confident men (that's for the 'good' traits') but also downright confrontational, insulting, mean and even humiliating with other people. Since in my opinion women want to avoid being with what they perceive is a "weak" man, they will give a pass to all the bad traits because they see it as 'being a strong dominant man', and if you are nice or just not mean, they will be scared you are being weak
  - darkerside 3y ago
    There's another pickup culture that you seem to not have heard about that centers around what you're talking about. Things like nagging. If anyone reads this and decides to learn about it, go ahead. I'm never going to tell someone else not to educate themselves. But don't treat it as an instruction book, and don't treat anyone like shit. And davidguetta, if you can figure out how to express the good traits but not the bad ones, you'll find a girl that is not only attracted to you but may actually grow to love you. And what's more, you'll learn to love and respect her and yourself. What women are looking for is someone confident in their ability to defend themselves and others. You don't need to be toxic to show that.
    - davidguetta 3y ago
      Nagging is absolutely part of what I was describing, but it's more general. You can also just treat other men in the room as shit and telling to the girl these men are a bunch of pussies and she will love it. Part of it because it's kinda true in some ways... You have to be suble about it tho. > And davidguetta, if you can figure out how to express the good traits but not the bad ones, you'll find a girl that is not only attracted to you but may actually grow to love you. And what's more, you'll learn to love and respect her and yourself. Yeah.... well first if you read my message I never said I even WANTED to express bad traits or did it that much beside trying to pick up in bars, nor think it's good. It just works better in the flirting phase, whatever you or I think about. BTW there's a class of girl where it works particularly well and it's the cliché of the "low self esteem girl"(LSE). It's the kind of girl who thinks / knows she's crazy / stupid and have issues so you can't really NOT be an ass to her because if you treat her as your equal she's going to despise you. ("I suck but he likes me so he must suck too"). I'd recommend running away from these kinda of girls but if you want sex there are a bunch of hot ones among them. Also I think you should know love and attraction are a lot closer one from the other from what you seem to think... But once again I'm not particularly interested in having to do that as a man. I'm in a relationship and I explicitly explained to my gf that she should be ambitious, have some fight in her and not take shit from other people or me. I also vaguely explained whole concept of LSE so that she doesn't become one. I have 0 interest in being in a relationship where I can see my gf as someone I respect / vaguely admire. I mean there are women astronauts ffs
- aredox 3y ago
  These techniques are extremely effective hacks on the American brain.
davidguetta 3y ago
Experience tells me it's not true. In general girls who don't go to nightclub are still going to respond to basically the same 'stimuli' / behavior than club girls. It's just in general they are less conscious of it and don't understand it, and sometime blame themseleves (when they are not just at the edge of depression) for despising their "nice" boyfriend and getting horny for the "toxic" guy.

by aredox 3y ago

screye 3y ago

Where are these normal people you speak of ? University and highschool dating pools are heavily gendered, as women themselves will profess to dating toxic dudes through college. Once at work, dating apps and bars become the only accepted dating avenues, both of which are heavily gendered. There are other soft-dating venues like Co-Ed sports and workplaces, but non-traditionally attractive people often do not have the "charisma" to read "signs". So they run the risk of being considered creeps. I will be the first to say #notAllWomen, but every number is heavily skewed in a direction that promotes toxic masculinity.

darkerside 3y ago

This doesn't line up with my understanding of human nature. I never really got into pickup culture and have ended up incredibly lucky, so don't read any bitterness in this comment. The pickup game didn't come from nowhere. It culturally evolved because these techniques are extremely effective hacks on the human brain. There are elements of it that you can ethically utilize, but if you go all in on it, you are manipulating people to your own ends. This isn't a game some people play and some don't.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
davidguetta 3y ago
Mm it's not even pick-up really. Pickup is about a bunch of catchy and cheesy lines and hacks as you say and it's not what I was referring to. I was mostly referring to the general idea tat woman are attracted to dominant, physically strong, confident men (that's for the 'good' traits') but also downright confrontational, insulting, mean and even humiliating with other people. Since in my opinion women want to avoid being with what they perceive is a "weak" man, they will give a pass to all the bad traits because they see it as 'being a strong dominant man', and if you are nice or just not mean, they will be scared you are being weak
- darkerside 3y ago
  There's another pickup culture that you seem to not have heard about that centers around what you're talking about. Things like nagging. If anyone reads this and decides to learn about it, go ahead. I'm never going to tell someone else not to educate themselves. But don't treat it as an instruction book, and don't treat anyone like shit. And davidguetta, if you can figure out how to express the good traits but not the bad ones, you'll find a girl that is not only attracted to you but may actually grow to love you. And what's more, you'll learn to love and respect her and yourself. What women are looking for is someone confident in their ability to defend themselves and others. You don't need to be toxic to show that.
  - davidguetta 3y ago
    Nagging is absolutely part of what I was describing, but it's more general. You can also just treat other men in the room as shit and telling to the girl these men are a bunch of pussies and she will love it. Part of it because it's kinda true in some ways... You have to be suble about it tho. > And davidguetta, if you can figure out how to express the good traits but not the bad ones, you'll find a girl that is not only attracted to you but may actually grow to love you. And what's more, you'll learn to love and respect her and yourself. Yeah.... well first if you read my message I never said I even WANTED to express bad traits or did it that much beside trying to pick up in bars, nor think it's good. It just works better in the flirting phase, whatever you or I think about. BTW there's a class of girl where it works particularly well and it's the cliché of the "low self esteem girl"(LSE). It's the kind of girl who thinks / knows she's crazy / stupid and have issues so you can't really NOT be an ass to her because if you treat her as your equal she's going to despise you. ("I suck but he likes me so he must suck too"). I'd recommend running away from these kinda of girls but if you want sex there are a bunch of hot ones among them. Also I think you should know love and attraction are a lot closer one from the other from what you seem to think... But once again I'm not particularly interested in having to do that as a man. I'm in a relationship and I explicitly explained to my gf that she should be ambitious, have some fight in her and not take shit from other people or me. I also vaguely explained whole concept of LSE so that she doesn't become one. I have 0 interest in being in a relationship where I can see my gf as someone I respect / vaguely admire. I mean there are women astronauts ffs
aredox 3y ago
These techniques are extremely effective hacks on the American brain.

davidguetta 3y ago

Experience tells me it's not true. In general girls who don't go to nightclub are still going to respond to basically the same 'stimuli' / behavior than club girls. It's just in general they are less conscious of it and don't understand it, and sometime blame themseleves (when they are not just at the edge of depression) for despising their "nice" boyfriend and getting horny for the "toxic" guy.