2 ms·

The funny thing is many women seem to prefer exactly the kind of men everyone is complaining about, and not because they really like them either. Nice guys are

by codr7 3y ago

The funny thing is many women seem to prefer exactly the kind of men everyone is complaining about, and not because they really like them either. Nice guys are always treated like trash. I can count the number of healthy relationships I've seen in this life on one hand. I don't know exactly how we ended up here; but unless things get better fast, over population will be the least of our troubles.

ravenstine 3y ago
I think part of the issue is the misunderstanding men have in terms of what a "nice guy" actually is. If a man is told by a heterosexual woman he's not in a relationship with that he's a nice guy, he should take that to mean she's not attracted to him. But this is confusing because the majority of men's advice about women comes from women, and the messaging they've received is that they should be a "nice guy." And being nice at a surface level is antithetical to things like assertion, which is a quality many women look for in men. Until the advent of YouTube, my impression and experience is that elder men have failed to teach men anything useful about how to interact with women, including what it means to be nice. I know of no men my age in real life that received any wisdom from their fathers besides "wear a condom." So called "nice guys" are treated like trash, not because they're nice, but often the opposite. If a man is a pushover, lacks confidence, doesn't seem like he knows what he wants out of life, and is willingly subordinate to women, but he is superficially very nice, that signals that his behavior comes from immaturity or to get laid. Women do actually like guys who are nice, but a scant number of them are into men who lack a spine or need women in order to feel complete. A man can be nice but also be assertive, confident, and not be needy. And sure, plenty of women are into bad boys, but that's their prerogative, and a man may not want to be with those women anyway.
- codr7 3y ago
  Plenty of assumptions there, and a somewhat defensive tone, might want to look into that. I'm telling you, something's off; most women don't even want what they're looking for when they get it. It's quite possibly a similar story for men, but I don't have the experience to judge.

by codr7 3y ago

ravenstine 3y ago

I think part of the issue is the misunderstanding men have in terms of what a "nice guy" actually is. If a man is told by a heterosexual woman he's not in a relationship with that he's a nice guy, he should take that to mean she's not attracted to him. But this is confusing because the majority of men's advice about women comes from women, and the messaging they've received is that they should be a "nice guy." And being nice at a surface level is antithetical to things like assertion, which is a quality many women look for in men. Until the advent of YouTube, my impression and experience is that elder men have failed to teach men anything useful about how to interact with women, including what it means to be nice. I know of no men my age in real life that received any wisdom from their fathers besides "wear a condom." So called "nice guys" are treated like trash, not because they're nice, but often the opposite. If a man is a pushover, lacks confidence, doesn't seem like he knows what he wants out of life, and is willingly subordinate to women, but he is superficially very nice, that signals that his behavior comes from immaturity or to get laid. Women do actually like guys who are nice, but a scant number of them are into men who lack a spine or need women in order to feel complete. A man can be nice but also be assertive, confident, and not be needy. And sure, plenty of women are into bad boys, but that's their prerogative, and a man may not want to be with those women anyway.

codr7 3y ago
Plenty of assumptions there, and a somewhat defensive tone, might want to look into that. I'm telling you, something's off; most women don't even want what they're looking for when they get it. It's quite possibly a similar story for men, but I don't have the experience to judge.