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Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is? I have no clue what they are talking about. From reading the article I would say men might need mentors w

Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is? I have no clue what they are talking about. From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.

icegreentea2 3y ago
Emotion support is showing loving, care and/or empathy. Mentorship and emotional support can have significant overlap.
- j-bos 3y ago
  Is that how it was defined in the article?
  - number6 3y ago
    No you should buy the book
Tade0 3y ago
I don't what they mean by "emotional support", but to me it boils down to asking "how are you doing?", but meaning it.
joshuahaglund 3y ago
FTA: “The manning-up of boys begins in the cradle,” says Tronick. Fathers and mothers use far more emotionally rich language with toddler-aged daughters than sons, for instance. Fathers are also more likely to sing to and soothe their toddler daughters at night when they cry. And "Praise them when they ask for help. Encourage them to share their struggles — with you, of course, but also with other trusted adults, a therapist or even friends." And the article is full of links like this: https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-important-role-in-childrens-lives/ https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-i... which suggests: - Positive engagement: Involved fathers directly interact with their children in positive ways, including caregiving such as changing diapers and shared activities that involve play. - Accessibility: Involved fathers are available to their children even when not directly interacting, such as cooking while the child plays nearby. - Responsibility: Involved fathers take ultimate responsibility for their child’s welfare and care, including participating in decision-making regarding child-rearing and ensuring that children’s needs are met.
rukuu001 3y ago
The opposite of emotional support is if you're crying, people around you say "don't be a baby." Actual emotional support can take a lot of different forms. I'd say that it includes someone recognising the emotions you're having, not judging them, not stopping you from expressing them, and talking about the emotions afterwards if you're up for it.
- danenania 3y ago
  The really hard thing is finding the right balance. “Don’t be a baby” isn’t good, but over-compensating too far in the other direction doesn’t do a kid any favors either. There are times when being a good dad can mean (kindly) pushing kids out of their comfort zones or tempering excessive self-pity. I’m currently trying to teach my 4 year old daughter to swim, so this is very front-of-mind for me. If it was up to her, she would just splash around in the shallowest part by the steps without trying anything she’s afraid of, and she would never learn to swim. It takes gentle but insistent pushing from me to keep making progress. It’s a fine line—when I do it well, she tries new things and has a great time too. If I overdo it, she shuts down and won’t try anything else. The emotions that make her hesitant are totally valid and natural, and I try to empathize with her and talk about them, but I also can’t overly indulge those feelings, because she needs to learn to push past them in order to gain an essential life skill. It’s tough.
  - AnnikaL 3y ago
    I agree 100% with this, but I think this balancing act doesn't have to be gendered as the common view of crying is.
    - rukuu001 3y ago
      Absolutely. It's just the easiest example.
  - rukuu001 3y ago
    It's hard! There's not much space between emotional support and indulgence. Parents' anxieties fill that space tho :)

icegreentea2 3y ago

Emotion support is showing loving, care and/or empathy. Mentorship and emotional support can have significant overlap.

j-bos 3y ago
Is that how it was defined in the article?
- number6 3y ago
  No you should buy the book

Tade0 3y ago

I don't what they mean by "emotional support", but to me it boils down to asking "how are you doing?", but meaning it.

joshuahaglund 3y ago

FTA: “The manning-up of boys begins in the cradle,” says Tronick. Fathers and mothers use far more emotionally rich language with toddler-aged daughters than sons, for instance. Fathers are also more likely to sing to and soothe their toddler daughters at night when they cry. And "Praise them when they ask for help. Encourage them to share their struggles — with you, of course, but also with other trusted adults, a therapist or even friends." And the article is full of links like this: https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-important-role-in-childrens-lives/ https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-i... which suggests: - Positive engagement: Involved fathers directly interact with their children in positive ways, including caregiving such as changing diapers and shared activities that involve play. - Accessibility: Involved fathers are available to their children even when not directly interacting, such as cooking while the child plays nearby. - Responsibility: Involved fathers take ultimate responsibility for their child’s welfare and care, including participating in decision-making regarding child-rearing and ensuring that children’s needs are met.

rukuu001 3y ago

The opposite of emotional support is if you're crying, people around you say "don't be a baby." Actual emotional support can take a lot of different forms. I'd say that it includes someone recognising the emotions you're having, not judging them, not stopping you from expressing them, and talking about the emotions afterwards if you're up for it.

danenania 3y ago
The really hard thing is finding the right balance. “Don’t be a baby” isn’t good, but over-compensating too far in the other direction doesn’t do a kid any favors either. There are times when being a good dad can mean (kindly) pushing kids out of their comfort zones or tempering excessive self-pity. I’m currently trying to teach my 4 year old daughter to swim, so this is very front-of-mind for me. If it was up to her, she would just splash around in the shallowest part by the steps without trying anything she’s afraid of, and she would never learn to swim. It takes gentle but insistent pushing from me to keep making progress. It’s a fine line—when I do it well, she tries new things and has a great time too. If I overdo it, she shuts down and won’t try anything else. The emotions that make her hesitant are totally valid and natural, and I try to empathize with her and talk about them, but I also can’t overly indulge those feelings, because she needs to learn to push past them in order to gain an essential life skill. It’s tough.
- AnnikaL 3y ago
  I agree 100% with this, but I think this balancing act doesn't have to be gendered as the common view of crying is.
  - rukuu001 3y ago
    Absolutely. It's just the easiest example.
- rukuu001 3y ago
  It's hard! There's not much space between emotional support and indulgence. Parents' anxieties fill that space tho :)