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I had big cultural shock when I came to Canada just because of that. You talk to a person (especially in business environment) and you have no fucking idea what

by FpUser 3y ago

I had big cultural shock when I came to Canada just because of that. You talk to a person (especially in business environment) and you have no fucking idea what are they saying. Dealing with muricans was a breath of fresh air. They mean what they say and if they say something it is as good as on paper (at least this was my experience). It is my impression that in Canada many are pathologically incapable of giving straight answers (there are pleasant exceptions here and there). I was told many times that I am "too direct". Well for some reason I prefer it this way and refuse to bend. Maybe it hurt me few times but I think it had also paid back.

justin_oaks 3y ago
I'm wondering if there are any advantages to having a culture of indirectness, where instead of "no" you say something like "That would be very difficult" or some other code language for "no". Thus far, I've only been able to see downsides to not being direct in communication.
snovv_crash 3y ago
If they're being weasely with you it's probably to avoid giving offence. A lot of people don't react well to "You have no idea what you're talking about, please be quiet while the rest of us discuss what needs to happen." or similar, so instead some platitudes get mentioned and the topics move on.
- FpUser 3y ago
  Nope. Nothing of that nature. If "I have no idea" what I am talking about I freely admit to it and do not mind asking an explanation. It was mostly business dealing with various subcontractors including factories. Q. Can you make this and that by 11 xteenth? And how much A. Eh, meh followed by the story of their life. Q. Ok let's try the other way. Give me a terms you are comfortable with A. Blah, blah, blah ... Yap, yap, yap ... No real answer Finally found somebody from whom I was able to extract X pesos Y months. Deposited retainer. Y month passed Q. A we ready. A. Oh this part did not come. That material is not available. Q. Why the fuck did not you say so before? You have assured me that there will be no hold ups of that nature. A. Blah, blah, blah ... Yap, yap, yap ... No real answer
  - snovv_crash 3y ago
    Sounds like you're used to having slick conmen give you assurances that they're expecting to break. There's a lot of stuff I wouldn't be happy to commit to as you're asking for it. I could give estimates or forecasts, but the real world is messy and it isn't worth my time to give hard committments.
    - FpUser 3y ago
      >"...and it isn't worth my time to give hard committments." When they say it is 3 month and 150K and may take a month or 2 of delay it is one thing and I am ok with such offer. But when it then becomes half a year and more and $200k and I am late for a season that messes with one's business. And this is why later on I found few people who knew what they're doing and were not fooling around and all my money went their direction (and I also sent them many clients).

by FpUser 3y ago

justin_oaks 3y ago

I'm wondering if there are any advantages to having a culture of indirectness, where instead of "no" you say something like "That would be very difficult" or some other code language for "no". Thus far, I've only been able to see downsides to not being direct in communication.

snovv_crash 3y ago

If they're being weasely with you it's probably to avoid giving offence. A lot of people don't react well to "You have no idea what you're talking about, please be quiet while the rest of us discuss what needs to happen." or similar, so instead some platitudes get mentioned and the topics move on.

FpUser 3y ago
Nope. Nothing of that nature. If "I have no idea" what I am talking about I freely admit to it and do not mind asking an explanation. It was mostly business dealing with various subcontractors including factories. Q. Can you make this and that by 11 xteenth? And how much A. Eh, meh followed by the story of their life. Q. Ok let's try the other way. Give me a terms you are comfortable with A. Blah, blah, blah ... Yap, yap, yap ... No real answer Finally found somebody from whom I was able to extract X pesos Y months. Deposited retainer. Y month passed Q. A we ready. A. Oh this part did not come. That material is not available. Q. Why the fuck did not you say so before? You have assured me that there will be no hold ups of that nature. A. Blah, blah, blah ... Yap, yap, yap ... No real answer
- snovv_crash 3y ago
  Sounds like you're used to having slick conmen give you assurances that they're expecting to break. There's a lot of stuff I wouldn't be happy to commit to as you're asking for it. I could give estimates or forecasts, but the real world is messy and it isn't worth my time to give hard committments.
  - FpUser 3y ago
    >"...and it isn't worth my time to give hard committments." When they say it is 3 month and 150K and may take a month or 2 of delay it is one thing and I am ok with such offer. But when it then becomes half a year and more and $200k and I am late for a season that messes with one's business. And this is why later on I found few people who knew what they're doing and were not fooling around and all my money went their direction (and I also sent them many clients).