I didn't solo at my limit. The routes were easy, below my standard, and well known by me. The possibilities of so low that I just didn't think I would fall. I w

I didn't solo at my limit. The routes were easy, below my standard, and well known by me. The possibilities of so low that I just didn't think I would fall. I was good enough and confident enough that I want to experience freedom. During the solos, I didn't feel anything, it was mechanical, pure physical movements. I didn't have heightened sense or anything like that. In fact, it was less "arousal" than if I have rope and trying my absolute hardest on other routes. I also didn't have selfies or anything that would even prove I was there. But after the climbs, there was a sense of fulfillment, a quiet confidence and pride that simply make me happy. I didn't tell many people about my soloing because I did it for myself. Many of my partners/mentors have done bigger solos. All of the solos were done in quiet manner, and generally on less traffic routes or days. They weren't searching for meaning of life or next high. They simply want to climb quietly and competently and come home without any drama. I stopped soloing because I find it hard to take the next step, which is to solo harder and harder grades. I didn't like the way it made me feel. It became chasing glory rather than self expression.