Actually for me I perform best when I can hear my inner monologue. If I'm in a social setting learning math it's not ideal at all, because I can't "listen" to m

Actually for me I perform best when I can hear my inner monologue. If I'm in a social setting learning math it's not ideal at all, because I can't "listen" to myself think: I think through things entirely in my head when I can reason through and almost dictate to myself. But not verbally! It's almost like the moment I try to verbalize anything it gets muddied by whatever weird social/colloquial construct I've made to communicate with others.