I am surrounded by people everywhere I go, and yet: 1 person I know IRL has read the books which matter to me. 0 people I know IRL have watched the animes tha

I am surrounded by people everywhere I go, and yet: 1 person I know IRL has read the books which matter to me. 0 people I know IRL have watched the animes that matter to me. 0 people I know IRL read Hacker News. 0 people I know IRL really play the video games I like. 0 people I know IRL have travelled to the places I have and seen the things I've seen. Thousands of hours of my life are spent on things for which no one else I know can moderately appreciate. That is the essence of my loneliness. Also, 0 men I know IRL were raised by a single mother, so my social inclination and lifestyle are hard to relate to. Warning - the next bit talks about s-icide. Also, I can't talk to people I know about s-icidal thoughts. My father killed himself a decade ago, and it's apparent to me that the idea spreads like a virus. For someone to really understand my feelings and view on it would likely make them s-icidal too, which I can't bear the thought of. My fiancee has had an experience where a SO offed himself, so talking about it with her is triggering. She's also got anger management problems that make a lot of communication difficult. These are other contributors to feelings of social isolation and loneliness.