3 ms·

I'm at a loss for how to explain the polar opposite results of two situations I've been in. I worked 3 year in an office in two different countries where the p

I'm at a loss for how to explain the polar opposite results of two situations I've been in. I worked 3 year in an office in two different countries where the prevailing mode was absolutely silence, no socialization, no connection, no words beyond pleasantries about nonwork things. One office spoke my native language, one didn't. Those were both really dark depressing experiences. I often felt distressed by loneliness, of being a ghost haunting the human world. Currently I'm doing the nomad thing, don't speak the language for crap, and spend 3-10 hours a day in coffee shops working. I order at the kiosk so no human interaction. I people watch and feel fantastic. I have been here 6 months and haven't interacted with anyone during this time. Best guess: In the offices I feel like I had a strong expectation for my life to play out like an American office sitcom. I have no such expectation for random people in a coffee shop to ever speak with me. I think expectations alone determine the result, even for someone 9/10 on the psychologists neuroticism scales. If I hadn't experienced this first hand with years of personal evidence behind it to show, I wouldn't believe it could "all be in my head". But that's the only theory that works

fluoridation 3y ago
For any given thing we desire to have, we have a set amount that we would like to have each day (or per amount of time) to feel satisfied. Total abstinence of a thing is easier than consumption restricted to below that set amount. When you're in total abstinence, you can forget that the thing even exists. It ceases to occupy your mind, so you don't feel like there's a want going unfulfilled. When instead you have just a little bit, far too little to satisfy you, the difference between the amount you're getting and how much you'd like causes intense anxiety that you have to deal with somehow.

fluoridation 3y ago

For any given thing we desire to have, we have a set amount that we would like to have each day (or per amount of time) to feel satisfied. Total abstinence of a thing is easier than consumption restricted to below that set amount. When you're in total abstinence, you can forget that the thing even exists. It ceases to occupy your mind, so you don't feel like there's a want going unfulfilled. When instead you have just a little bit, far too little to satisfy you, the difference between the amount you're getting and how much you'd like causes intense anxiety that you have to deal with somehow.