5 ms·

Autism, ADHD, and various other neurodivergencies can all lead to people 'mirroring' those around them, including picking up others accents. As a notable person

Autism, ADHD, and various other neurodivergencies can all lead to people 'mirroring' those around them, including picking up others accents. As a notable personal example, my mom and I were recently talking about how I don't 'sound gay', which, while a stereotype, it is actually something I do, especially when around other gay men with the same affect. I pointed out that all my non-southern friends say the same thing about my southern accent, until they hear me talk on the phone with someone back home. Though I notice it in myself very prominently, I think everyone is prone to this kind of mirroring behavior to some extent, and I could easily see someone living in a new region for a while developing a new accent that doesn't sound quite like the one they came to the region with.

footlose_3815 3y ago
Don't you think it's weird to instantly blame those disorders for someone assimilating to an accent?
- chris37879 3y ago
  Absolutely, which is why I was presenting it in the context of my experience as someone with those conditions. I don’t have a frame of reference otherwise, and if you read my last paragraph, you’ll notice I did concede that I think it’s something that happens in everyone and is more expressed in people with those conditions, which is a studied phenomenon. Don’t you think it’s weird to ascribe hidden meanings to someone’s words?
  - valval 3y ago
    I know someone with your conditions and they often start stories in the exact same way you did here, stories that might apply to like 80% of neurotypical people as well just like yours did. It just sounds a bit weird, and there’s no ascribing hidden meaning to someone’s words behind that.
    - chris37879 3y ago
      Yup, it's wild that the pathology is so clearly obvious once people know to look for it, and yet we still have to have these conversations. I'm getting from your reply here that you completely understood my original comment, meaning your comment to me asking about it was simply to provoke this conversation, not to actually talk about my point. Which is interesting, because I'm really interested (some may say eSPECIALy interested) in this topic, and would happily talk to you about it, had your original question been this message instead. I'm also willing to concede that the autism diagnosis and acceptance is still really new for me, so I'm going through the phase of putting back together who I was and dealing with the fact that a lot of things that I've blamed myself for, for literally years, were simply because of this condition, and that some of my coping mechanisms have in fact been making me worse for a long time. It's weird to re-learn who you are as a person at 32 years old after having felt so sure of it for so long. Which is what I think leads to these overly long explanations. I've been so misunderstood for so long that I'm literally afraid of it happening now.
      - valval 3y ago
        I believe you’re mixing up two people here, since the comment you replied to here was the only one I made in this chain thus far. What you describe in this comment is the exact same thing I’ve heard from my co-worker about this topic, however. She said it’s a relief to be able to attribute a lot of the things she has seemingly struggled with in the past to the new diagnoses she’s got.
        chris37879 3y ago
        Indeed I did, sorry for that, but I stand by the content of what I said. I agree with your co-worker, it is a massive relief to know these issues aren't fundamental flaws of your character, but behaviors attributable to a condition that can be managed, accounted for, and worked around. The burnout and stress you feel before diagnosis/acceptance is intense, and, for some of us, debilitating. I have been remarkably fortunate to have a job with co-workers who have enough compassion and understanding to let me be honest about how I'm feeling, and understanding that what I feel is valid, though not always correct or in alignment with my logical thoughts. It's been complicated and involved a lot of boundary setting and apologies when I still fail, but that's all gotten easier since I just _know why_.
- travisjungroth 3y ago
  It’s not weird. The first sentence explains it.

footlose_3815 3y ago

Don't you think it's weird to instantly blame those disorders for someone assimilating to an accent?

chris37879 3y ago
Absolutely, which is why I was presenting it in the context of my experience as someone with those conditions. I don’t have a frame of reference otherwise, and if you read my last paragraph, you’ll notice I did concede that I think it’s something that happens in everyone and is more expressed in people with those conditions, which is a studied phenomenon. Don’t you think it’s weird to ascribe hidden meanings to someone’s words?
- valval 3y ago
  I know someone with your conditions and they often start stories in the exact same way you did here, stories that might apply to like 80% of neurotypical people as well just like yours did. It just sounds a bit weird, and there’s no ascribing hidden meaning to someone’s words behind that.
  - chris37879 3y ago
    Yup, it's wild that the pathology is so clearly obvious once people know to look for it, and yet we still have to have these conversations. I'm getting from your reply here that you completely understood my original comment, meaning your comment to me asking about it was simply to provoke this conversation, not to actually talk about my point. Which is interesting, because I'm really interested (some may say eSPECIALy interested) in this topic, and would happily talk to you about it, had your original question been this message instead. I'm also willing to concede that the autism diagnosis and acceptance is still really new for me, so I'm going through the phase of putting back together who I was and dealing with the fact that a lot of things that I've blamed myself for, for literally years, were simply because of this condition, and that some of my coping mechanisms have in fact been making me worse for a long time. It's weird to re-learn who you are as a person at 32 years old after having felt so sure of it for so long. Which is what I think leads to these overly long explanations. I've been so misunderstood for so long that I'm literally afraid of it happening now.
    - valval 3y ago
      I believe you’re mixing up two people here, since the comment you replied to here was the only one I made in this chain thus far. What you describe in this comment is the exact same thing I’ve heard from my co-worker about this topic, however. She said it’s a relief to be able to attribute a lot of the things she has seemingly struggled with in the past to the new diagnoses she’s got.
      - chris37879 3y ago
        Indeed I did, sorry for that, but I stand by the content of what I said. I agree with your co-worker, it is a massive relief to know these issues aren't fundamental flaws of your character, but behaviors attributable to a condition that can be managed, accounted for, and worked around. The burnout and stress you feel before diagnosis/acceptance is intense, and, for some of us, debilitating. I have been remarkably fortunate to have a job with co-workers who have enough compassion and understanding to let me be honest about how I'm feeling, and understanding that what I feel is valid, though not always correct or in alignment with my logical thoughts. It's been complicated and involved a lot of boundary setting and apologies when I still fail, but that's all gotten easier since I just _know why_.
travisjungroth 3y ago
It’s not weird. The first sentence explains it.