4 ms·

I irritate women, it may or may not be under my control, for example if it’s due to my race then it’s not, if it’s due to societal clichés then it’s not; and fo

I irritate women, it may or may not be under my control, for example if it’s due to my race then it’s not, if it’s due to societal clichés then it’s not; and for what is under my control, I have seen for about $10k of psychologists and I was never told the defect I have, probably because that would discourage me, instead they say there’s always a chance, never try never know, ask them out and blah blah blah. I’d love if someone told me my truth, but until then, I can’t do much. Granted I didn’t try a dating coach, I don’t know where to find them, their answers will always be “pay me $100 and believe in yourself”, and yes I’m very afraid that if I find out a dating coach helps, I’ll have lost my life for nothing, but it’s impossible to talk about it because no-one ever accepts to envision that, yes, when you reach 40 without capability to date regularly, well you’re fucked, I’d commit terrible things to make people admit that I’ve lost my life if I could, Why can’t people accept that, yes, it’s hard, I see uglier people than me succeed, I see total losers succeed, so yes, the only artifact I see is: I - irritate - women, they become between sarcastic and mean to me after knowing me for a few weeks. Could even be that I don’t ask early enough, that I don’t sexualize them enough, I’m always too careful about not stalking them and ensuring they don’t feel like a bag of meat, so maybe they’re just frustrated that I don’t kiss them on the second date. I don’t know, hypothesis! but that would at least be a fair explanation that I could work on. Instead, the only feedback I have is, that I’m selfish or whatever trait that you could judge anyone with - Let them first, I also donate to charities way more than friends, I’ve also belonged to more charities than much more of the population, I’ve also accompanied by best enemy through cancer, til he died with us playing the song he himself composed, this asshole got the most beautiful death he could imagine, I mean the accusation of selfishness or closed-mindedness doesn’t hold any cold-headed analysis.

yibg 3y ago
I don’t understand your position here. You start out saying some people are blocked from success and imply your lack of success with women is an example. Then you say you don’t know if your lack of success is something you can control because no one has told you exactly what the issue is. Is your definition of being blocked anything that doesn’t just happen by itself?
- johnchristopher 3y ago
  Seems pretty clear to me: whatever one is trying to achieve they can be blocked (lack of money, talents, wrong country, etc.) and unless the block can be identified you can never know if it's a block that can be managed/overcome or not. Since OP doesn't really know what's wrong they tried asking for external feedback but that feedback was not actionable and it also didn't help identify what kind of block it was. > Is your definition of being blocked anything that doesn’t just happen by itself? sigh... really ?
AnimalMuppet 3y ago
Advice: Pick a woman you trust. A co-worker, a neighbor, someone who knows you. Ask her straight out: "Every time I try to date, I wind up irritating and driving off the woman I'm dating. Can you tell me why?" Listen seriously and carefully to what she tells you. Mind you, she's not necessarily right. But she's much more likely to be right than a bunch of randos trying to diagnose you over the internet.

yibg 3y ago

I don’t understand your position here. You start out saying some people are blocked from success and imply your lack of success with women is an example. Then you say you don’t know if your lack of success is something you can control because no one has told you exactly what the issue is. Is your definition of being blocked anything that doesn’t just happen by itself?

johnchristopher 3y ago
Seems pretty clear to me: whatever one is trying to achieve they can be blocked (lack of money, talents, wrong country, etc.) and unless the block can be identified you can never know if it's a block that can be managed/overcome or not. Since OP doesn't really know what's wrong they tried asking for external feedback but that feedback was not actionable and it also didn't help identify what kind of block it was. > Is your definition of being blocked anything that doesn’t just happen by itself? sigh... really ?

AnimalMuppet 3y ago

Advice: Pick a woman you trust. A co-worker, a neighbor, someone who knows you. Ask her straight out: "Every time I try to date, I wind up irritating and driving off the woman I'm dating. Can you tell me why?" Listen seriously and carefully to what she tells you. Mind you, she's not necessarily right. But she's much more likely to be right than a bunch of randos trying to diagnose you over the internet.