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You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Organizing some sort of event could be good if

You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Organizing some sort of event could be good if you can find a good fit for your interests - you'll be doing a thing that you want or working to accomplish something important to you and it'll naturally provide opportunities for beneficial social interactions. Or something else - I think you can avoid the antiutility of transparently socializing as a means to an ends by identifying a situation where your purpose is aligned with your intention, and the socialization is a bonus.

Terr_ 3y ago
> You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Unfortunately the people who open PRs against my open-source code are the same kind of people with the same problems. :P
johnnyanmac 3y ago
>identifying a situation where your purpose is aligned with your intention, and the socialization is a bonus. you know, I thought conventions would be the answer to this for me back in college. But the half dozen or so I went to seemed to have had the same results: cool for some slightly more intimate small talk, but not necessarily for making friends. People already come with friends and have established groups, so they aren't necessarily there for that either (Or you know, there are professional conferences and we end up back at this topic: have a bunch of business cards we maybe follow up on with once). But yeah, I have another plan once the dust settles on my current situation: There's a few OS repos out there that would knock out 3 birds with one stone if I could start contributing, so I'll see how "internet networking" goes. >You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Possible, but I don't have any services that come to mind. Just your typical geek into tech, games, and anime.

Terr_ 3y ago

> You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Unfortunately the people who open PRs against my open-source code are the same kind of people with the same problems. :P

johnnyanmac 3y ago

>identifying a situation where your purpose is aligned with your intention, and the socialization is a bonus. you know, I thought conventions would be the answer to this for me back in college. But the half dozen or so I went to seemed to have had the same results: cool for some slightly more intimate small talk, but not necessarily for making friends. People already come with friends and have established groups, so they aren't necessarily there for that either (Or you know, there are professional conferences and we end up back at this topic: have a bunch of business cards we maybe follow up on with once). But yeah, I have another plan once the dust settles on my current situation: There's a few OS repos out there that would knock out 3 birds with one stone if I could start contributing, so I'll see how "internet networking" goes. >You could try being the kind of person people want favor/approval from by providing some kind of service instead? Possible, but I don't have any services that come to mind. Just your typical geek into tech, games, and anime.