4 ms·

Californian misses California, wants things to be like California. I can see how this would cause heartburn in smaller-town Germany, particularly if there’s no

Californian misses California, wants things to be like California. I can see how this would cause heartburn in smaller-town Germany, particularly if there’s not a reservoir of good will towards the military presence there. But I suspect it would cause similar heartburn in a smaller town in the Deep South or New England. And being removed from family and social ties can be crippling if you’re used to strong connections. Going “elsewhere” is hard if you can’t or won’t embrace the differences. People can tell when somebody’s not comfortable which makes they less hospitable. And “you look/sound different”, unfortunately, occurs everywhere. Odd the military doesn’t have spouse/family programs as they’ve been moving people all over the world for decades and facing similar problems. There’s a whole lot of rules and restrictions to live as an expat and that’s also where the military should help out. Can’t retain if the family’s dissatisfied.

abofh 3y ago
So I've been living in Europe for the last few years after leaving SF and haven't experienced any of this. Are there frustrations when moving to a new country? Absolutely. If you go in expecting every local government agent to be grateful for your USD shekels, you'll be sorely disappointed when you find out they'll make 10x as much effort to speak English as you do to speak their language - but 0 x 10 is still zero. But if you're polite, persistent, and committed to integrating - I've never failed to find a welcoming community in at least three different countries now. In truth, my least favorite people to meet now are "American Expats" or instagram influencers - at least fresh ones. You've been abroad for ten years? Let's talk, you probably have some perspective. You're still trying to figure out where Trader Joe's is? You're probably not that interesting. If you're traveling - enjoy, be polite, you'll be fine. If you're _moving_, it's on you to make the effort and be a part of the community, not the communities job to acclimate to you. Join a few meetups, facebook groups or whatever the latest trend is - meet people with like minded interests, and it works fine. If you're surprised to find occasional micro-aggressions in small towns, well... bless your heart.
- ElfinTrousers 3y ago
  > If you're surprised to find occasional micro-aggressions in small towns, well... bless your heart. There's reasons plenty of people prefer cities over large towns. At least in the city, people will have the decency to just directly tell you to go fuck yourself. Saves time.
- dontupvoteme 3y ago
  This is my take as well. I hate to say it but one of the best things of living abroad is the Americans i have to deal with in my life are pre-filtered. If you've moved here and stayed at least through the winter, you're probably pretty great compared to the average. My cheatcode was to listen to well enunciated German Hiphop/Rap. You learn to parse sentences quickly and you get so much god damn cred from youngins by knowing K.I.Z., and so much respect from your cohorts by knowing Deichkind and Peter Fox.

abofh 3y ago

So I've been living in Europe for the last few years after leaving SF and haven't experienced any of this. Are there frustrations when moving to a new country? Absolutely. If you go in expecting every local government agent to be grateful for your USD shekels, you'll be sorely disappointed when you find out they'll make 10x as much effort to speak English as you do to speak their language - but 0 x 10 is still zero. But if you're polite, persistent, and committed to integrating - I've never failed to find a welcoming community in at least three different countries now. In truth, my least favorite people to meet now are "American Expats" or instagram influencers - at least fresh ones. You've been abroad for ten years? Let's talk, you probably have some perspective. You're still trying to figure out where Trader Joe's is? You're probably not that interesting. If you're traveling - enjoy, be polite, you'll be fine. If you're _moving_, it's on you to make the effort and be a part of the community, not the communities job to acclimate to you. Join a few meetups, facebook groups or whatever the latest trend is - meet people with like minded interests, and it works fine. If you're surprised to find occasional micro-aggressions in small towns, well... bless your heart.

ElfinTrousers 3y ago
> If you're surprised to find occasional micro-aggressions in small towns, well... bless your heart. There's reasons plenty of people prefer cities over large towns. At least in the city, people will have the decency to just directly tell you to go fuck yourself. Saves time.
dontupvoteme 3y ago
This is my take as well. I hate to say it but one of the best things of living abroad is the Americans i have to deal with in my life are pre-filtered. If you've moved here and stayed at least through the winter, you're probably pretty great compared to the average. My cheatcode was to listen to well enunciated German Hiphop/Rap. You learn to parse sentences quickly and you get so much god damn cred from youngins by knowing K.I.Z., and so much respect from your cohorts by knowing Deichkind and Peter Fox.