I'm not really math inclined (for me math is a tool I can use for physics/engineering and other areas; I don't like pure math) but I find it very hard to start

I'm not really math inclined (for me math is a tool I can use for physics/engineering and other areas; I don't like pure math) but I find it very hard to start doing something without some reading books / docs / articles first. I need at least vague understanding of what I do otherwise it feels like a ritual which doesn't help me to learn. I can go in parallel. I'm actually self-taught and my acquired over many years knowledge is fragmented but for each specific fragment I first read then do.