You jest, surely, but keep in mind that one of the most financially significant decisions to be made is going to be the hospital which the ambulance transports

You jest, surely, but keep in mind that one of the most financially significant decisions to be made is going to be the hospital which the ambulance transports you to. Some insurance plans charge a premium for mileage when it's not the "closest available", and you can imagine the damage if the chosen facility is "out of network" or not otherwise covered.