4 ms·

That’s true I might be biased by hanging with women who hang with gay men. It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well.

That’s true I might be biased by hanging with women who hang with gay men. It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well. The kicker for me is how these dynamics ruin the ability for men and women to become friends. Like you say, these wouldn’t be issues in a platonic relationship. But this cloud of expectation looms over any straight-platonic friendship between men and women. How the relationship would have to change if it became romantic. Makes me glad I’m gay.

scarmig 3y ago
Straight folk have lots to learn from gay folk. Probably starting with how to do marriage right[0]. [0] https://www.advocate.com/people/2020/2/13/study-gay-people-have-happier-marriages-straight-people https://www.advocate.com/people/2020/2/13/study-gay-people-h...
- lostmsu 3y ago
  The study can not be accessed without payment, but if they did not correctly control for kids, it is useless.
  - scarmig 3y ago
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6731029/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6731029/ > Covariates. We control for covariates that are likely associated with both psychological distress and marital strain including respondent age, education, and employment status (Mirowsky & Ross, 2003), spouse health status (Kiecolt-Glaser & Wilson, 2017), relationship duration (Proulx et al., 2007), and children in household (Mirowsky & Schieman, 2008). So at least they attempted to account for obvious covariates.
    - UncleMeat 3y ago
      This is my favorite kind of scientific criticism. People who can't even access a paper just saying "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" and then moving on.
      - lostmsu 3y ago
        This is my favorite kind of personal attacks. Never have I said "they did not control", but here you are.
        UncleMeat 3y ago
        Not a personal attack. A criticism of the content of your post.
        lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
        > Never have I said "they did not control" They didn’t make this claim. > "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" Is a close paraphrase of > if they did not correctly control for kids, it is useless The comment seems to be intended as a dismissal while calling itself out as uninformed (“cannot be accessed without payment” suggests it wasn’t accessed).
    - lostmsu 3y ago
      They did, but the study does not make the same conclusion as the article you linked. TBH I am not familiar with the the way data is presented in this last link, and likely biased toward my own expectations, but my uneducated read of table 2 says that children, education, being a woman, and employment status are the largest contributors to the distress.
monksy 3y ago
> It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well. The ones who are complaining that men lack emotional maturity or inteligence are the same ones that will post on 2xc and say: "Am I a bad person for dumping a guy because I saw him crying and I'm no longer attracted to him?"
- archagon 3y ago
  Actually, they are probably not the same people at all.
- abracadaniel 3y ago
  You can’t judge behavior of any group based on anonymous internet posts. When you run into the crazy person on the bus, it’s important to realize there’s a bus load of people around them that aren’t crazy. The internet just helps get all of them concentrated into the same place.

scarmig 3y ago

Straight folk have lots to learn from gay folk. Probably starting with how to do marriage right[0]. [0] https://www.advocate.com/people/2020/2/13/study-gay-people-have-happier-marriages-straight-people https://www.advocate.com/people/2020/2/13/study-gay-people-h...

lostmsu 3y ago
The study can not be accessed without payment, but if they did not correctly control for kids, it is useless.
- scarmig 3y ago
  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6731029/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6731029/ > Covariates. We control for covariates that are likely associated with both psychological distress and marital strain including respondent age, education, and employment status (Mirowsky & Ross, 2003), spouse health status (Kiecolt-Glaser & Wilson, 2017), relationship duration (Proulx et al., 2007), and children in household (Mirowsky & Schieman, 2008). So at least they attempted to account for obvious covariates.
  - UncleMeat 3y ago
    This is my favorite kind of scientific criticism. People who can't even access a paper just saying "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" and then moving on.
    - lostmsu 3y ago
      This is my favorite kind of personal attacks. Never have I said "they did not control", but here you are.
      - UncleMeat 3y ago
        Not a personal attack. A criticism of the content of your post.
      - lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
        > Never have I said "they did not control" They didn’t make this claim. > "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" Is a close paraphrase of > if they did not correctly control for kids, it is useless The comment seems to be intended as a dismissal while calling itself out as uninformed (“cannot be accessed without payment” suggests it wasn’t accessed).
  - lostmsu 3y ago
    They did, but the study does not make the same conclusion as the article you linked. TBH I am not familiar with the the way data is presented in this last link, and likely biased toward my own expectations, but my uneducated read of table 2 says that children, education, being a woman, and employment status are the largest contributors to the distress.

monksy 3y ago

> It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well. The ones who are complaining that men lack emotional maturity or inteligence are the same ones that will post on 2xc and say: "Am I a bad person for dumping a guy because I saw him crying and I'm no longer attracted to him?"

archagon 3y ago
Actually, they are probably not the same people at all.
abracadaniel 3y ago
You can’t judge behavior of any group based on anonymous internet posts. When you run into the crazy person on the bus, it’s important to realize there’s a bus load of people around them that aren’t crazy. The internet just helps get all of them concentrated into the same place.