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While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article ab

While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article about dating here leads to such a slew of poor comments. I mean the discussion is full of entitlement, misogyny, cynicism or a mix of the three. A casual reading lends me to think that this is because this place skews rather young.

watwut 3y ago
My guess was always that HN has a lot of men who moved to Silicon Valley that has more men then women or work long hours in male only jobs. So, there is a lot of resentment over unsolvable situation.
lacker 3y ago
The nature of dating is that the people who have a good experience dating get married, and so they stop dating. People who have only bad experiences keep dating. So the people who are eternally struggling have much more experience at it and have far more to say about dating. It's kind of like job interviewing. If you do five job interviews, get three offers, are happy at the job you take and stay there for five years, then you're averaging one interview per year. If you're struggling to find a good job you can do ten interviews per week forever. So the people who are eternally struggling at the job interview process have much more experience at it and have far more to say about it.
- WastingMyTime89 3y ago
  > The nature of dating is that the people who have a good experience dating get married, and so they stop dating. People who have only bad experiences keep dating. So the people who are eternally struggling have much more experience at it and have far more to say about dating. It’s kind of untrue nowadays. Married people get divorced. People split. Plenty are not interested in marriage. As a data point, I am a currently single average looking and averagely successful guy with no intention of ever getting married (I will probably settle into a long term relationship at some point but I’m not planning to in the near term) and who has dates (as much as such a thing exists here) semi-regularly when I feel like it. I have nothing particularly bad to say about the experience. At its heart, it’s just meeting someone new. It’s not particularly complicated or difficult hence my puzzlement.
- hn_thrwn 3y ago
  The second woman I dated I married. It's been 20 years so far. This is the opposite or what anyone tells you to do.
dahwolf 3y ago
What misogyny? Women are not above criticism and most of the comments dropped here can easily be backed up by data.
- Manuel_D 3y ago
  Some people believe the notion that women are attracted to status is inherently a misogynist idea. When people allege misogyny and other *isms, it's often more telling about what they believe is offensive.
- WastingMyTime89 3y ago
  I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding what misogyny is. The issue is not if statements here can or can not be backed by data (some probably can, some can’t, some are misrepresented). Misogyny is not prejudice. It also simply is dislike or contempt for women as a gender. Something which is clearly on display throughout this whole page.
  - dahwolf 3y ago
    The whole page? Surely it must be trivial then for you to produce a few dozen examples?
- sneed_chucker 3y ago
  In modern western culture, women as a group are indeed above criticism. If you were to make the same sorts of broad generalizations and value judgements that are made towards men as a group every day in major news outlets and universities against women, it would be derided as misogyny. Any sort of statement about women as a group that could be perceived as negative must be predicted on the assertion that the potentially negative trait is due to society, patriarchy, or men. These are my personal perceptions based on observing how discourse on sex and gender has been conducted over the last decade or so.
  - HDThoreaun 3y ago
    Broad generalizations about any group, especially those that are obviously incorrect, deserve criticism. Half of the human population is not a monolith, lamenting that "women" all feel the same way about something just makes everyone else think you've never talked to many. Tons of comments here are basically "women only care about using your money" which is just obviously untrue in the aggregate but does reveal that you have only interacted with gold diggers. It says much more about the commenter than women.
renewiltord 3y ago
Surely you have noticed that online forums such as this have things they obsess over. Consider any WFH/RTO thread is filled with wailing and gnashing of teeth referencing "they" trying to make their commercial REIT money; any Google thread has WAGOT referencing the shutting down of products; any Apple thread to contain WAGOT regarding CSAM scanning and so on. It is the nature of this forum to Wail and Gnash One's Teeth.

watwut 3y ago

My guess was always that HN has a lot of men who moved to Silicon Valley that has more men then women or work long hours in male only jobs. So, there is a lot of resentment over unsolvable situation.

lacker 3y ago

The nature of dating is that the people who have a good experience dating get married, and so they stop dating. People who have only bad experiences keep dating. So the people who are eternally struggling have much more experience at it and have far more to say about dating. It's kind of like job interviewing. If you do five job interviews, get three offers, are happy at the job you take and stay there for five years, then you're averaging one interview per year. If you're struggling to find a good job you can do ten interviews per week forever. So the people who are eternally struggling at the job interview process have much more experience at it and have far more to say about it.

WastingMyTime89 3y ago
> The nature of dating is that the people who have a good experience dating get married, and so they stop dating. People who have only bad experiences keep dating. So the people who are eternally struggling have much more experience at it and have far more to say about dating. It’s kind of untrue nowadays. Married people get divorced. People split. Plenty are not interested in marriage. As a data point, I am a currently single average looking and averagely successful guy with no intention of ever getting married (I will probably settle into a long term relationship at some point but I’m not planning to in the near term) and who has dates (as much as such a thing exists here) semi-regularly when I feel like it. I have nothing particularly bad to say about the experience. At its heart, it’s just meeting someone new. It’s not particularly complicated or difficult hence my puzzlement.
hn_thrwn 3y ago
The second woman I dated I married. It's been 20 years so far. This is the opposite or what anyone tells you to do.

dahwolf 3y ago

What misogyny? Women are not above criticism and most of the comments dropped here can easily be backed up by data.

Manuel_D 3y ago
Some people believe the notion that women are attracted to status is inherently a misogynist idea. When people allege misogyny and other *isms, it's often more telling about what they believe is offensive.
WastingMyTime89 3y ago
I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding what misogyny is. The issue is not if statements here can or can not be backed by data (some probably can, some can’t, some are misrepresented). Misogyny is not prejudice. It also simply is dislike or contempt for women as a gender. Something which is clearly on display throughout this whole page.
- dahwolf 3y ago
  The whole page? Surely it must be trivial then for you to produce a few dozen examples?
sneed_chucker 3y ago
In modern western culture, women as a group are indeed above criticism. If you were to make the same sorts of broad generalizations and value judgements that are made towards men as a group every day in major news outlets and universities against women, it would be derided as misogyny. Any sort of statement about women as a group that could be perceived as negative must be predicted on the assertion that the potentially negative trait is due to society, patriarchy, or men. These are my personal perceptions based on observing how discourse on sex and gender has been conducted over the last decade or so.
- HDThoreaun 3y ago
  Broad generalizations about any group, especially those that are obviously incorrect, deserve criticism. Half of the human population is not a monolith, lamenting that "women" all feel the same way about something just makes everyone else think you've never talked to many. Tons of comments here are basically "women only care about using your money" which is just obviously untrue in the aggregate but does reveal that you have only interacted with gold diggers. It says much more about the commenter than women.

renewiltord 3y ago

Surely you have noticed that online forums such as this have things they obsess over. Consider any WFH/RTO thread is filled with wailing and gnashing of teeth referencing "they" trying to make their commercial REIT money; any Google thread has WAGOT referencing the shutting down of products; any Apple thread to contain WAGOT regarding CSAM scanning and so on. It is the nature of this forum to Wail and Gnash One's Teeth.