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I'm getting married next month, a relationship started from a date found in possibly the worst of all the apps (Match, if you can believe it). I dated for a lo
by mrj 3y ago
I'm getting married next month, a relationship started from a date found in possibly the worst of all the apps (Match, if you can believe it).
I dated for a lot of years and, despite having some positives outlined by this article, I was also divorced and have a son. That made it massively more difficult to find a long term match given that many women flatly reject that combo.
I learned though to be upfront. About your life. About what you're looking for. You're not looking for 95% of women to be attracted to you! You're looking for one. It sounds like you're optimizing the search already, so don't waste time worrying about 95%. People always say be yourself and I didn't appreciate what that meant until I started taking control of my dating journey.
For example, I stopped tailoring dates around what they wanted to do. I planned stuff that I wanted to do and if somebody I was talking to wanted to come along, awesome. If not, I did it anyhow. I stopped hiding my love for Country music and went anyhow. My wife loves Country. :)
Also, if you're honest in your profile and somebody wants to start casual.. consider it. People have a hard time in the dating scene and you can't fault them for not wanting to invest 100% right away. Have confidence in yourself and know the right one will stick around no matter what they said in the beginning. And if they don't, that's cool too. Hopefully you have some fun dates and life experience to make you a better date when the right one does show up. It does take practice.
Much of a long term relationship starts when two people are at the right points in their lives. You can't really plan it, it just happens when it does and that's why people say they feel lucky. Much of it is luck. Leave space for that to happen too!
Good luck to you.
- lolsal 3y agoI was widowed after 15 years and I have been using dating apps for the last few years and in my experience you are absolutely correct on pretty much everything. I know who I am and what I like. I advertise that on my profile and I take folks on dates that I like to do by myself. I’ve had a lot of success with relationships of all different lengths and levels of casual-ness. If you are a dude in the dating pool and you are positioning yourself as what you think women want, you’re doing yourself a disservice.