5 ms·

It sounds like this author believes in going really big. They didn't move cities, they moved continents. They didn't date and break up, they married and divorce

It sounds like this author believes in going really big. They didn't move cities, they moved continents. They didn't date and break up, they married and divorced. I think there is something to be said for getting some big experiences. Moving from Pittsburgh to Cleveland might be a waste of energy. Moving from Pittsburgh to Paris is a guaranteed adventure. I don't know if I agree or not, but it is interesting to think about.

butitsFake 3y ago
[flagged]
3np 3y ago
While moving from Pittsburgh to Paris to Hong Kong to Singapore to Berlin to Cape Town is more likely a waste of energy again and risks burning you (not mentioning the planet) out. It's a lot easier to turn the adventure-o-meter up than to turn it down.
- jrumbut 3y ago
  I suspect you're right that the first time is an adventure and the fifth time is a chore. After your first or second big move you might need to change careers or something instead.
- zerbinxx 3y ago
  Agreed. This brand of self-aggrandizing “I did it my way” advice adverts always exemplify a special brand of narcissism; the speaker is unaware that they aren’t the center of their own life. The truth is that “blowing up your life” isn’t usually good or laudable: if you regularly find yourself in situations where you think it’s best to hard reset you’re probably very confused about what you want and need and, ironically, would probably benefit more from figuring out how to renegotiate an undesirable situation than eternally storming between grand schemes.
  - superhuzza 3y ago
    "the speaker is unaware that they aren’t the center of their own life" What does this even mean? Of course you are the center of your own life. That's the human experience.
    - halfmatthalfcat 3y ago
      Some would argue the human experience is inherently social, with other humans and the lack of stable community (putting down roots amongst friends, family and a hyperlocal community) isn't realizing said experience to the fullest. To each their own though.
    - zerbinxx 3y ago
      I disagree, and I want to try to say this in the least cringey and New Age-y way possible, bear with me. Your limited sensory experience indicates you are the “center of your life” - that you are some spirit in your head, inhabiting a body that bumps into other bodies, etc. When you grow up you gain an awareness of other people having this experience alongside you. Sometimes it’s possible to reorient your understanding of this experience away from “I” and towards “we” and to broaden the scope of what “your” life is about. This would mean things like considering your family or community the “center of your life” which I think is considerably better happiness wise than the naive egoism that we take as the (Very American) default setting for life.
  - engineeringwoke 3y ago
    But also to the contrary this is the exact line of thinking that causes the large majority of people to sleep walk through life, as the author says. It is a hard truth of life that the large majority of people (80+% I would say) do not take any real risks in their entire long life. You can obviously over-do it, and yes it probably feels good to follow the herd and stay in the "okay" relationship and the "okay" job with the same old things because you feel like that's what everyone does. But... there is much more outside that world. The walls you think are there are in fact not there at all. There is room for risk within reason in life.
    - 3y ago
heisenbit 3y ago
Going big and blowing it up - what is there not to like? Going big requires investments and while there is a sunk cost fallacy there is also compound interest. Most larger endeavors have investments from more than one participant - and it often needs just one person to blow it all up. Last but not least: All big investment require taking on risk and you ability to stomach those may decline over time - there is survivor bias in the tale of heroes. There are long term consequences and without discussing how they relate to rewards of blowing big things up this feels a shallow self promoting piece to me.
Xcelerate 3y ago
It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a bit different when you have other people who depend on you though. We moved from the southeast to the Bay Area a while back, and the experienced rattled my wife a lot, as she had lived in the same small hometown for 30 years. I suppose it is her turn for now; with remote work we moved right back to her small hometown next to her parents while our children are young. But two years into this and I’m already itching to move to Norway or Tokyo...
- bombolo 3y ago
  Moving in 2 isn't nearly as much of an adventure as it is doing it alone.
  - rocketbop 3y ago
    I spent years having solo adventures only to realize I'd been missing out on shared adventures with a long term partner. With the right person, your adventures can be much bigger, at least for me. Your mileage may vary.
  - mym1990 3y ago
    Just not true. It is a different kind of adventure, but certainly can be just as much, or more of one.
- wincy 3y ago
  I think maybe it has to do with self confidence, or childhood trauma? I had a very unstable childhood and things quite often didn’t “just work out”. Adults in my life literally got stabbed and died when “interesting” new things happened. “Hi nice to meet you”, “oh he’s dead now”. “Time to go live in the women’s shelter! Hey now we live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere!” Change was scary and often not for the better. Major change was what you happened when you crawled out the window to escape dad beating mom every night. I feel I stumbled into the stability I have and want to do everything I can to hang on to it. It doesn’t feel like something I should expect, but something I’m extraordinarily lucky to have. Moving or any other big shake up feels like a very real potential to invite chaos back into my life and destroy the small oasis of calm with my family I’ve spent years building.

butitsFake 3y ago

[flagged]

3np 3y ago

While moving from Pittsburgh to Paris to Hong Kong to Singapore to Berlin to Cape Town is more likely a waste of energy again and risks burning you (not mentioning the planet) out. It's a lot easier to turn the adventure-o-meter up than to turn it down.

jrumbut 3y ago
I suspect you're right that the first time is an adventure and the fifth time is a chore. After your first or second big move you might need to change careers or something instead.
zerbinxx 3y ago
Agreed. This brand of self-aggrandizing “I did it my way” advice adverts always exemplify a special brand of narcissism; the speaker is unaware that they aren’t the center of their own life. The truth is that “blowing up your life” isn’t usually good or laudable: if you regularly find yourself in situations where you think it’s best to hard reset you’re probably very confused about what you want and need and, ironically, would probably benefit more from figuring out how to renegotiate an undesirable situation than eternally storming between grand schemes.
- superhuzza 3y ago
  "the speaker is unaware that they aren’t the center of their own life" What does this even mean? Of course you are the center of your own life. That's the human experience.
  - halfmatthalfcat 3y ago
    Some would argue the human experience is inherently social, with other humans and the lack of stable community (putting down roots amongst friends, family and a hyperlocal community) isn't realizing said experience to the fullest. To each their own though.
  - zerbinxx 3y ago
    I disagree, and I want to try to say this in the least cringey and New Age-y way possible, bear with me. Your limited sensory experience indicates you are the “center of your life” - that you are some spirit in your head, inhabiting a body that bumps into other bodies, etc. When you grow up you gain an awareness of other people having this experience alongside you. Sometimes it’s possible to reorient your understanding of this experience away from “I” and towards “we” and to broaden the scope of what “your” life is about. This would mean things like considering your family or community the “center of your life” which I think is considerably better happiness wise than the naive egoism that we take as the (Very American) default setting for life.
- engineeringwoke 3y ago
  But also to the contrary this is the exact line of thinking that causes the large majority of people to sleep walk through life, as the author says. It is a hard truth of life that the large majority of people (80+% I would say) do not take any real risks in their entire long life. You can obviously over-do it, and yes it probably feels good to follow the herd and stay in the "okay" relationship and the "okay" job with the same old things because you feel like that's what everyone does. But... there is much more outside that world. The walls you think are there are in fact not there at all. There is room for risk within reason in life.
  - 3y ago

heisenbit 3y ago

Going big and blowing it up - what is there not to like? Going big requires investments and while there is a sunk cost fallacy there is also compound interest. Most larger endeavors have investments from more than one participant - and it often needs just one person to blow it all up. Last but not least: All big investment require taking on risk and you ability to stomach those may decline over time - there is survivor bias in the tale of heroes. There are long term consequences and without discussing how they relate to rewards of blowing big things up this feels a shallow self promoting piece to me.

Xcelerate 3y ago

It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a bit different when you have other people who depend on you though. We moved from the southeast to the Bay Area a while back, and the experienced rattled my wife a lot, as she had lived in the same small hometown for 30 years. I suppose it is her turn for now; with remote work we moved right back to her small hometown next to her parents while our children are young. But two years into this and I’m already itching to move to Norway or Tokyo...

bombolo 3y ago
Moving in 2 isn't nearly as much of an adventure as it is doing it alone.
- rocketbop 3y ago
  I spent years having solo adventures only to realize I'd been missing out on shared adventures with a long term partner. With the right person, your adventures can be much bigger, at least for me. Your mileage may vary.
- mym1990 3y ago
  Just not true. It is a different kind of adventure, but certainly can be just as much, or more of one.
wincy 3y ago
I think maybe it has to do with self confidence, or childhood trauma? I had a very unstable childhood and things quite often didn’t “just work out”. Adults in my life literally got stabbed and died when “interesting” new things happened. “Hi nice to meet you”, “oh he’s dead now”. “Time to go live in the women’s shelter! Hey now we live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere!” Change was scary and often not for the better. Major change was what you happened when you crawled out the window to escape dad beating mom every night. I feel I stumbled into the stability I have and want to do everything I can to hang on to it. It doesn’t feel like something I should expect, but something I’m extraordinarily lucky to have. Moving or any other big shake up feels like a very real potential to invite chaos back into my life and destroy the small oasis of calm with my family I’ve spent years building.