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Then they'll resent you and watch it on their friends' phones anyway when they can. And they'll suffer socially because they won't be able to talk with other k

Then they'll resent you and watch it on their friends' phones anyway when they can. And they'll suffer socially because they won't be able to talk with other kids at the lunch table about the most recent episode.

olyjohn 3y ago
If you're worried about them resenting you, do you just let them do anything they want?
- plewd 3y ago
  If the things they're doing with that freedom aren't too bad, I don't see why not.
- scottLobster 3y ago
  Of course not. But building up resentment over an ultimately useless restriction is just a waste of resources and time. Make them resent you for smooth-brain restrictions and they won't listen to you when it actually matters.
memefrog 3y ago
Your children aren't going to resent you because they can't watch a YouTube channel. Nobody has ever resented their parents as an adult because of something like that. My parents didn't let me watch adult-rated movies or play adult-rated games (eg The Godfather, Call of Duty) as a child, while others' parents did. You'd have to be insane to resent them for that. How far do you take this? No rules? "Sorry, no chores in this house: our children will resent us." No boundaries at all? Your children are more likely to resent you when they grow up incapable of hard work and with no sense of delayed gratification because their parents were terrified of ever imposing any rules or expectations on them for fear of causing "resentment". No child is going to suffer socially because they don't watch Mr Beast. It's literally one thing. A child might conceivably suffer socially if they're cut off from all leisure activities, but not being able to watch a YouTube channel is so minuscule as to be laughable. I didn't watch Saturday morning cartoons as a child, as my parents didn't like having the TV on in the morning. Did I suffer socially? Not remotely.
- inconceivable 3y ago
  not letting your kids watch saturday morning cartoons because you find them to be annoying seems pretty dickish and seems like it has an extremely asymmetric possible negative long run consequence. you're talking about it to this very day in a way that seems like you can't wait to enforce these rules on your own children. i can't recall a single thing my parents did along these lines. this is just not how they operated - by just laying down restriction after restriction. seems kind of shitty, honestly. also my parents didn't teach me how to sit in front of a computer for 20 hours until i got a program to compile without errors. did they MAKE you do stuff like that? lol in fact i remember my parents complaining that i was wasting time on the internet. joke's on them though, now they spend all their time glued to their devices.
  - memefrog 3y ago
    > not letting your kids watch saturday morning cartoons because you find them to be annoying seems pretty dickish and seems like it has an extremely asymmetric possible negative long run consequence. What negative long run consequence could possibly be created by not being able to watch noisy, annoying, brain-mush kids TV? I'm glad I was discouraged from watching TV on a saturday morning. I didn't miss it at the time either. I did more interesting things, and half the time I had swimming lessons or sports on a Sat morning anyway. And how is it "dickish"? It's their house. It's their TV. They paid for it, they own it, they control it. That's how the world works, and will always work, and should always work. The idea that they have some sort of obligation to put up with obnoxious screeching American cartoons is just... I don't even know what to say to that. It's just so backwards I can't even put it into words. >you're talking about it to this very day in a way that seems like you can't wait to enforce these rules on your own children. I brought it up because it was relevant to the conversation, It's not like I'm sitting here thinking about it all the time. I probably haven't thought about it once in the last.. 15 years? >i can't recall a single thing my parents did along these lines. this is just not how they operated - by just laying down restriction after restriction. seems kind of shitty, honestly. Restriction after restriction? I mentioned one thing, mate. Relax a bit please. I really don't understand your mindset though. Should parents not set boundaries? People talk all the time about how it should be parents that set boundaries for their children and not the state. Then people like you turn around and suggest that if they actually do that, they're somehow stifling their children and will breed resentment for their whole life. >also my parents didn't teach me how to sit in front of a computer for 20 hours until i got a program to compile without errors. did they MAKE you do stuff like that? lol in fact i remember my parents complaining that i was wasting time on the internet. Of course they didn't "teach" me how to do that, but their parenting influenced by development, because that's what parenting does.
sneed_chucker 3y ago
ah yes, the modern western "I can't do my job as a parent" excuse
- scottLobster 3y ago
  Your job as a parent is to train your kid to be a functional adult, not impose counterproductive and arbitrary restrictions because you're frightened by something you don't understand. Any parent who goes to war with their kid over the mere watching of Mr Beast really needs to consider their priorities in life, and if they're just taking out their insecurities on their kid.
  - sneed_chucker 3y ago
    Raise your kids or watch the world raise your kids for you. If you think that certain media is imparting negative morals on your child, then it's on you to control that. On the other hand if you think it's unusual, but ultimately harmless, then it's also your prerogative as a parent to allow them to watch it. But the whole stance of "I can't control what my kids are doing because they'll resent me if I do" just sounds like an excuse to deny your own agency over the situation.
isoprophlex 3y ago
Or, you know, you sit down with them and talk about why they can't.
- prawn 3y ago
  I'm part way through this process. "There's a guy on YouTube and he just gives people money. That's how I'm going to get money!" "I don't think that's a great strategy because (broad discussion)." "But he might choose me!" "I don't think your odds are great." "But it's possible. You didn't say it was impossible!" "I think we need to discuss this when I'm not also trying to drive in peak-hour school traffic."
kelnos 3y ago
I dunno, my parents didn't let me watch The Simpsons when I was a kid. Sure, there was occasionally talk about the latest episode at the lunch table, but it wasn't a big deal, and I turned out ok. One of my closest childhood friends watched it, and we're still friends now, 25+ years later... he's never held my lack of Simpsons knowledge against me. I think the idea that "parents won't let kids watch X" is somehow damaging to a kid's social health is a bit silly.
- steve_adams_86 3y ago
  My perception about this based on my experience and my kids’ experiences is that these matters are more ubiquitous and socially relevant than ever. Memification of everything permeates their social fabric and if you aren’t in on it, you’re disadvantaged. Kids are simultaneously too young and too immersed to have perspective on this, so being excluded simply hurts. My approach is to allow exposure but to maintain dialogue around it. They know I accept them watching it, I don’t criticize them for it, but I encourage them to be critical about it themselves and wonder about why it’s popular and so on. At least seeding the idea that they should observe themselves and their peers can hopefully lead to making better decisions later. Sort of a “let them make their own mistakes” thing, with fairly manageable stakes.
- scottLobster 3y ago
  Depends on their friends. I was for all intents and purposes banned from virtually all the pop-culture my friends were into as a kid, it essentially forced me to sit quiet at the lunch table and I was left out of a lot of stuff because I wasn't allowed to participate (what happens on the latest episode of X, movies, concerts, game nights, etc). It sucked. I fully intend to give my kids the tools and access they need to relate to other kids, with the understanding that I don't always get to decide what that is. I might draw the line at something particularly egregious, like an R rated movie when they're 9 or something, but if my kid and their friends want to watch Power Rangers Mega-Samurai-Viking-Cosmic-Super-Force, I'm not going to ban it because I find it mildly annoying and eye-rolly.

olyjohn 3y ago

If you're worried about them resenting you, do you just let them do anything they want?

plewd 3y ago
If the things they're doing with that freedom aren't too bad, I don't see why not.
scottLobster 3y ago
Of course not. But building up resentment over an ultimately useless restriction is just a waste of resources and time. Make them resent you for smooth-brain restrictions and they won't listen to you when it actually matters.

memefrog 3y ago

Your children aren't going to resent you because they can't watch a YouTube channel. Nobody has ever resented their parents as an adult because of something like that. My parents didn't let me watch adult-rated movies or play adult-rated games (eg The Godfather, Call of Duty) as a child, while others' parents did. You'd have to be insane to resent them for that. How far do you take this? No rules? "Sorry, no chores in this house: our children will resent us." No boundaries at all? Your children are more likely to resent you when they grow up incapable of hard work and with no sense of delayed gratification because their parents were terrified of ever imposing any rules or expectations on them for fear of causing "resentment". No child is going to suffer socially because they don't watch Mr Beast. It's literally one thing. A child might conceivably suffer socially if they're cut off from all leisure activities, but not being able to watch a YouTube channel is so minuscule as to be laughable. I didn't watch Saturday morning cartoons as a child, as my parents didn't like having the TV on in the morning. Did I suffer socially? Not remotely.

inconceivable 3y ago
not letting your kids watch saturday morning cartoons because you find them to be annoying seems pretty dickish and seems like it has an extremely asymmetric possible negative long run consequence. you're talking about it to this very day in a way that seems like you can't wait to enforce these rules on your own children. i can't recall a single thing my parents did along these lines. this is just not how they operated - by just laying down restriction after restriction. seems kind of shitty, honestly. also my parents didn't teach me how to sit in front of a computer for 20 hours until i got a program to compile without errors. did they MAKE you do stuff like that? lol in fact i remember my parents complaining that i was wasting time on the internet. joke's on them though, now they spend all their time glued to their devices.
- memefrog 3y ago
  > not letting your kids watch saturday morning cartoons because you find them to be annoying seems pretty dickish and seems like it has an extremely asymmetric possible negative long run consequence. What negative long run consequence could possibly be created by not being able to watch noisy, annoying, brain-mush kids TV? I'm glad I was discouraged from watching TV on a saturday morning. I didn't miss it at the time either. I did more interesting things, and half the time I had swimming lessons or sports on a Sat morning anyway. And how is it "dickish"? It's their house. It's their TV. They paid for it, they own it, they control it. That's how the world works, and will always work, and should always work. The idea that they have some sort of obligation to put up with obnoxious screeching American cartoons is just... I don't even know what to say to that. It's just so backwards I can't even put it into words. >you're talking about it to this very day in a way that seems like you can't wait to enforce these rules on your own children. I brought it up because it was relevant to the conversation, It's not like I'm sitting here thinking about it all the time. I probably haven't thought about it once in the last.. 15 years? >i can't recall a single thing my parents did along these lines. this is just not how they operated - by just laying down restriction after restriction. seems kind of shitty, honestly. Restriction after restriction? I mentioned one thing, mate. Relax a bit please. I really don't understand your mindset though. Should parents not set boundaries? People talk all the time about how it should be parents that set boundaries for their children and not the state. Then people like you turn around and suggest that if they actually do that, they're somehow stifling their children and will breed resentment for their whole life. >also my parents didn't teach me how to sit in front of a computer for 20 hours until i got a program to compile without errors. did they MAKE you do stuff like that? lol in fact i remember my parents complaining that i was wasting time on the internet. Of course they didn't "teach" me how to do that, but their parenting influenced by development, because that's what parenting does.

sneed_chucker 3y ago

ah yes, the modern western "I can't do my job as a parent" excuse

scottLobster 3y ago
Your job as a parent is to train your kid to be a functional adult, not impose counterproductive and arbitrary restrictions because you're frightened by something you don't understand. Any parent who goes to war with their kid over the mere watching of Mr Beast really needs to consider their priorities in life, and if they're just taking out their insecurities on their kid.
- sneed_chucker 3y ago
  Raise your kids or watch the world raise your kids for you. If you think that certain media is imparting negative morals on your child, then it's on you to control that. On the other hand if you think it's unusual, but ultimately harmless, then it's also your prerogative as a parent to allow them to watch it. But the whole stance of "I can't control what my kids are doing because they'll resent me if I do" just sounds like an excuse to deny your own agency over the situation.

isoprophlex 3y ago

Or, you know, you sit down with them and talk about why they can't.

prawn 3y ago
I'm part way through this process. "There's a guy on YouTube and he just gives people money. That's how I'm going to get money!" "I don't think that's a great strategy because (broad discussion)." "But he might choose me!" "I don't think your odds are great." "But it's possible. You didn't say it was impossible!" "I think we need to discuss this when I'm not also trying to drive in peak-hour school traffic."

kelnos 3y ago

I dunno, my parents didn't let me watch The Simpsons when I was a kid. Sure, there was occasionally talk about the latest episode at the lunch table, but it wasn't a big deal, and I turned out ok. One of my closest childhood friends watched it, and we're still friends now, 25+ years later... he's never held my lack of Simpsons knowledge against me. I think the idea that "parents won't let kids watch X" is somehow damaging to a kid's social health is a bit silly.

steve_adams_86 3y ago
My perception about this based on my experience and my kids’ experiences is that these matters are more ubiquitous and socially relevant than ever. Memification of everything permeates their social fabric and if you aren’t in on it, you’re disadvantaged. Kids are simultaneously too young and too immersed to have perspective on this, so being excluded simply hurts. My approach is to allow exposure but to maintain dialogue around it. They know I accept them watching it, I don’t criticize them for it, but I encourage them to be critical about it themselves and wonder about why it’s popular and so on. At least seeding the idea that they should observe themselves and their peers can hopefully lead to making better decisions later. Sort of a “let them make their own mistakes” thing, with fairly manageable stakes.
scottLobster 3y ago
Depends on their friends. I was for all intents and purposes banned from virtually all the pop-culture my friends were into as a kid, it essentially forced me to sit quiet at the lunch table and I was left out of a lot of stuff because I wasn't allowed to participate (what happens on the latest episode of X, movies, concerts, game nights, etc). It sucked. I fully intend to give my kids the tools and access they need to relate to other kids, with the understanding that I don't always get to decide what that is. I might draw the line at something particularly egregious, like an R rated movie when they're 9 or something, but if my kid and their friends want to watch Power Rangers Mega-Samurai-Viking-Cosmic-Super-Force, I'm not going to ban it because I find it mildly annoying and eye-rolly.