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If you're looking for more, i have some recommendations for longer stuff around personal growth and insights: - Erich Fromm, The Art Of Loving. It's about how

If you're looking for more, i have some recommendations for longer stuff around personal growth and insights: - Erich Fromm, The Art Of Loving. It's about how love (romantic, interpersonal) is not rosy but hard, hard work. All of Fromm's writing is amazing, but this one (for me) had the most personal impact. Another great one is Fromm's The Sane Society. - Kishimi/Koga's The Courage To Be Disliked. It's classified as self-help, but it's more a pop-psychology summary of Adlerian Psychotherapy. We can choose not to be the product of trauma, or our surroundings. We may get pushed into negative corners by our upbringing, but then we get too comfortable in those negative corners to push ourselves out. The title alludes to a person who has no friends and has a negative image of himself, maybe he's that lonely because he is afraid of being rejected/disliked. He is lonely and miserable, but he is comfortable in the loneliness. It takes courage and hard work on yourself to move out of those holes. - Hillman/Ventura's We've had a Hundred Years Of Psychotherapy And The World's Getting Worse. In a nutshell, the problem is not always with the individual, often it's just the environment; mindfulness will only get you so far if the house is on fire. - Becker's The Denial Of Death. We know we die but we don't realise that. How do we generate meaning in the presence of death? There are 'good' (a life project, pushing societies' boundaries) and 'bad' ways (hedonism, drugs etc.). What are the necessary illusions we should create for ourselves to keep pushing?

shanusmagnus 3y ago
This kind of thing is exactly my jam. I read Becker about a year ago and it set off a landslide that has still not settled. Much appreciate the others, I have made note of them.
- a_bonobo 3y ago
  Great to hear!! I'm also always on the hunt for books similar to this - a weird mix of psychoanalysis, sociology, deep thought - so happy to hear your recommendations as well!!
  - shanusmagnus 3y ago
    Well my friend: Everything (really) by Erving Goffman. A beautiful synthesis is [1] which I might recommend over the original material (sacrilege!) if you were only going to read one thing. We (as Western Civilization, maybe) have still (imo) not come to terms with the bounty that is William James. I had negligible interest in religion, but if you're into the weird mix of psychoanalysis, sociology, and deep thought, I cannot recommend [2] enough. I read it over the course of a year, annotated the margins like the faithful annotate their holy texts (do they do that?) and many evenings still open a page, read randomly, and ponder. I had never really considered what an institution really was, or how it came to be, or what was implicit / assumed in interacting with it. This classic prompted much fruitful imagining [3] although it's the most difficult reading of them all. Given your tastes, you may have slogged through a bunch of philosophy and hated it. The good news (or maybe the bad news) is that this is super fun and easy to read and gives you most of the same nutrients [4] as certain schools, and has obvious contemporary relevance besides. This scratches a proximate itch [5]. I'm a little sheepish bc all of these (except for maybe [5]) are deep classics and are, in a sense, obvious for that reason. And yet I have a PhD in a related field and never actually _read_ any of them, so maybe they won't be obvious to you either :) [1] https://www.amazon.com/Goffman-Reader-Charles-Lemert/dp/1557868948 https://www.amazon.com/Goffman-Reader-Charles-Lemert/dp/1557... [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Varieties_of_Religious_Experience https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Varieties_of_Religious_Exp... [3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Social_Construction_of_Reality https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Social_Construction_of_Rea... [4] https://www.amazon.com/Supersizing-Mind-Embodiment-Cognitive-Philosophy/dp/0199773688 https://www.amazon.com/Supersizing-Mind-Embodiment-Cognitive... [5] https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/alien-phenomenology-or-what-itas-like-to-be-a https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/alien-phenome...
    - a_bonobo 3y ago
      Thank you so much!!!!! I had The Varieties of Religious Experiences on my to-read-list forever but never got to it; I had never even heard of those other authors. Thank you so much! Another rec: Mark Fisher's Capitalist Realism, on how we can't imagine alternatives to capitalism any more. Byung-Chul Han's Psychopolitics, on how modern neoliberalism turned us into self-exploiters. There's no 'upper class' suppressing the 'lower classes' anymore, we've moved to self-exploit, to push ourselves as our own horrible boss, without a structure to rebel against, with no chance of escape.

shanusmagnus 3y ago

This kind of thing is exactly my jam. I read Becker about a year ago and it set off a landslide that has still not settled. Much appreciate the others, I have made note of them.

a_bonobo 3y ago
Great to hear!! I'm also always on the hunt for books similar to this - a weird mix of psychoanalysis, sociology, deep thought - so happy to hear your recommendations as well!!
- shanusmagnus 3y ago
  Well my friend: Everything (really) by Erving Goffman. A beautiful synthesis is [1] which I might recommend over the original material (sacrilege!) if you were only going to read one thing. We (as Western Civilization, maybe) have still (imo) not come to terms with the bounty that is William James. I had negligible interest in religion, but if you're into the weird mix of psychoanalysis, sociology, and deep thought, I cannot recommend [2] enough. I read it over the course of a year, annotated the margins like the faithful annotate their holy texts (do they do that?) and many evenings still open a page, read randomly, and ponder. I had never really considered what an institution really was, or how it came to be, or what was implicit / assumed in interacting with it. This classic prompted much fruitful imagining [3] although it's the most difficult reading of them all. Given your tastes, you may have slogged through a bunch of philosophy and hated it. The good news (or maybe the bad news) is that this is super fun and easy to read and gives you most of the same nutrients [4] as certain schools, and has obvious contemporary relevance besides. This scratches a proximate itch [5]. I'm a little sheepish bc all of these (except for maybe [5]) are deep classics and are, in a sense, obvious for that reason. And yet I have a PhD in a related field and never actually _read_ any of them, so maybe they won't be obvious to you either :) [1] https://www.amazon.com/Goffman-Reader-Charles-Lemert/dp/1557868948 https://www.amazon.com/Goffman-Reader-Charles-Lemert/dp/1557... [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Varieties_of_Religious_Experience https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Varieties_of_Religious_Exp... [3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Social_Construction_of_Reality https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Social_Construction_of_Rea... [4] https://www.amazon.com/Supersizing-Mind-Embodiment-Cognitive-Philosophy/dp/0199773688 https://www.amazon.com/Supersizing-Mind-Embodiment-Cognitive... [5] https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/alien-phenomenology-or-what-itas-like-to-be-a https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/alien-phenome...
  - a_bonobo 3y ago
    Thank you so much!!!!! I had The Varieties of Religious Experiences on my to-read-list forever but never got to it; I had never even heard of those other authors. Thank you so much! Another rec: Mark Fisher's Capitalist Realism, on how we can't imagine alternatives to capitalism any more. Byung-Chul Han's Psychopolitics, on how modern neoliberalism turned us into self-exploiters. There's no 'upper class' suppressing the 'lower classes' anymore, we've moved to self-exploit, to push ourselves as our own horrible boss, without a structure to rebel against, with no chance of escape.