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The headline caught my eye because my birthday is on the 8th ;) But to the topic. I have 3 kids and only my daughter (over ten) has a phone. We gave her an old
by larusso 3y ago
The headline caught my eye because my birthday is on the 8th ;)
But to the topic. I have 3 kids and only my daughter (over ten) has a phone. We gave her an old iPhone and I disabled everything from internet to blocking foreign numbers. She has books and music access and can write to her friends. I‘m really against opening the internet at her age because I see one not the point why she would need it at that age and because we have some nice negative examples of „zombie“ kids walking around only having conversations in little chunks between smartphone breaks.
I grew up without a phone. And when I got my first phone (around 15) it was a dumb brick. To be fair it where the late 90th, early 2000 ;) Internet wasn‘t even big for me.
My other two kids don‘t have a phone. But also: I wouldn’t simply put an age to that decision. I mean either the person is right or not. I hear no complains from my kids and feel rarely the effects of social pressure. Also helps that my wife is resolute as a stone when it comes to that topic :)
- flangola7 3y ago>zombie“ kids walking around only having conversations in little chunks between smartphone breaks As an adult this is me and my friends, I don't see a problem with it. It's not like we're ignoring each other. I'm not sure why everyone is so hostile to kids having internet. I grew up watching YouTube and browsing Reddit on my phone too, that hasn't hurt me any.
- gls2ro 3y agoKids brain and adult brain are different. The same goes for body - this is why some medicine cannot be taken by kids. As an example (I am not a doctor) the neocortex is not fully developed until maybe 20s. Thus what works for you as an adult is not 100% sure to be working for children.
- flangola7 3y agoI'm not talking about adult brains. I was on YouTube and Reddit as a child too, why would I think it would effect them more as a kid and not me? I remember watching Rebecca Black's Friday in middle school on my Samsung Galaxy and shitposting the video on unrelated subreddits until mods banned me. Yeah it was stupid but I don't think it's the end of the world.
- larusso 3y agoToo be fair. As a parent you can only screw up. Either like me trying to control the flow of stupid information or by not giving the kids any control. My decision come from my own experience with my own media usage. I think back in the days there was a natural stop. Like cartoons only aired in the afternoon or on Saturday. There been time slices when one where able to enjoy a specific medium. Hell even stuff like porn came in limited doses for normal people. But today? My kids could watch cartoons for the nexts month without a pause. I saw this in myself at around 2018 when scrolling threw Facebook at traffic lights etc. I thought to myself what the hell are you doing? So I deleted the app from my phone and 6 month later the whole account.
- flangola7 3y ago>I think back in the days there was a natural stop. Like cartoons only aired in the afternoon or on Saturday. There been time slices when one where able to enjoy a specific medium. Hell even stuff like porn came in limited doses for normal people. But today? My kids could watch cartoons for the nexts month without a pause. What you are describing sounds closer to retro 1900s world. I binged plenty of YouTube and porn and Netflix as a kid, and so did almost everyone I know.
- nunuvit 3y agoParents usually don't want others, especially companies, spending all their time trying to get their kids addicted to stuff, influencing their minds, and changing their behavior. There's a lot that can go wrong with letting random assholes parent your kids more than you.
- flangola7 3y agoYeah and Facebook will turn them into mindless validation seekers, video games will turn them into serial killers, and TV will turn their brains into mush - all things our parents told us which were also completely paranoid and untrue.
- nunuvit 3y agoYou're obviously not very current on this issue, and you don't have a personal stake in it, either.
- larusso 3y agoMy daughter had a friend over and we played a boardgame together. It was impossible to hold the attention of her friend. Every round she needed a nudge that it is again her turn. In between constant tick tock scrolling. Sorry but I‘m wondering what happens to these kids in the future. And how conversations and interactions they‘ll have etc.
- flangola7 3y ago>we played a boardgame How riveting. /s >It was impossible to hold the attention of her friend. Every round she needed a nudge that it is again her turn. That is more attention than I would have been able to provide. >And how conversations and interactions they‘ll have etc. I'm sure they interact fine with people who don't try to make them pay attention to something they're clearly uninterested in. Who's idea was the boardgame? Let me guess, not the friend.
- drdaeman 3y ago> To be fair it where the late 90th, early 2000 ;) Internet wasn‘t even big for me. Disclaimer: thank goodness I don't have any kids, so this is not a parenting advice. Just my own story. I grew up around the same era and computing was a huge thing for me. I've had my first computer (ZX Spectrum 48k) when I was 6, first IBM PC-compatible when I was around 9, first dial-up Internet access around 14. I don't really remember the ages TBH (except the 6, because I left some evidence by hardcoding my age in a BASIC program), so they're plus-minus couple years. But then Internet was different back in the day. Pay-per-minute dial-up, 14kbps on a good day, so the best available time killer was reading jokes and anecdotes from FidoNet or Usenet, offline. Endless meaningless feeds the whole day wasn't a thing. And when tech got better my interests were already ingrained in me. Looking back, it changed the trajectory of my whole life, and in a good way. I've had all the latest tech news, talked to smart people, and was able to learn lots of things - all when I've still had that virtually infinite energy and my brain was much more agile than today. So with some luck, I was able to seize some opportunities. The history has no "if"s, but I can't imagine things would've went half as good, would I not be into computers back then. But also, wouldn't I have that curiosity, limited attention span (any game got boring pretty fast) and innate desire to entertain myself by tinkering with whatever random thing was available, I guess it could've went nowhere. Now, the subject at hand is drastically different - phones now and personal computers back then are hard to compare fairly. Except that my parents back then weren't always exactly fond of me setting all day and night in front some screen rather than playing with other kids (or whatever). But they tolerated it and appraised my successes. Morale is, I think, it all depends on the kid - not on the tech - how they're gonna spend their time and where they'll head in their life. Some will create new things, some will just drown themselves in Modern Internet's firehose of shit (maybe there was something similar back in the day and I'm just blissfully unaware, hah). I'm glad my parents have provided me with things I've had, letting my energy flow into something not just non-harmful but actually somewhat useful, and that their only real interference was in indirect moral guidance by me see some good and bad examples.
- larusso 3y ago> Morale is, I think, it all depends on the kid - not on the tech - how they're gonna spend their time and where they'll head in their life. This is what I tried to convey with not putting it on an age barrier.
- Zetice 3y ago> and can write to her friends. Good lord...