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Is this something you are currently doing? Or more a theory? I know one parent, a software developer, whose kid goes to a school that strongly encouraged this

Is this something you are currently doing? Or more a theory? I know one parent, a software developer, whose kid goes to a school that strongly encouraged this and so they signed up for it. It seems to work fine for them. In contrast, I know other parents who have given their kids phones and it is quite hard to completely monitor their usage of it. Around the house, parents develop a background sense for where their kids are and what they're doing. If you hear a kid go into the kitchen, your ears perk up to make sure they're, say, getting cereal rather than playing with knives and fire. But a kid doing perfectly safe things on a phone looks about like a kid doing dangerous things on their phone. And a phone is portable enough that you can't really directly supervise them all the time.

leonidasv 3y ago
> it is quite hard to completely monitor their usage of it I disagree. Google Parent Link[0] and YouTube parental controls[1] are very advanced. But most parents just don't care setting it up and them complains they don't know what their kids are watching online. [0] https://families.google/familylink/ https://families.google/familylink/ [1] https://support.google.com/youtubekids/answer/6172308?hl=en#zippy=%2Creview-your-childs-watch-history https://support.google.com/youtubekids/answer/6172308?hl=en#...
- elzbardico 3y ago
  The thing is that a lot of people nowadays are not really ready to invest time in their kids. Not setting up parental controls on their kids' devices is just a symptom of that.
parasubvert 3y ago
It's something I'm currently doing with my 14 year old. the phone requires approval for app installs, so no social media. I have the phone unlock code and track browser history both at the phone and the router. He can and does use incognito mode, and the router mostly catches the porn URLs if any (thankfully not a lot - more gross out sites which we have chats about). I track Youtube history as he uses my premium account to avoid ads + usually can see that stuff at the router. Next step i've been meaning to do is setup a forwarding proxy so that even cell data use is tracked. Generally if he does things I get concerned about, we have a conversation about what worries me, and how i want him to adjust his habits. this sometimes works, sometimes reverts back and requires a reminder. all of this can blow up into full on blocking and acrimony eventually, I guess. i am working on his coping and judgement so that when he does branch out he has tools to handle what he runs into. I grew up in the late 80s "very online" with BBS's and internet in the early 90s... and got into a lot of dangerous things without my parents really knowing. I have a sense of how to protect against that but yes there are limits. We are also recently fostering a 16 year old girl with terrible social media dependency and a history of self harm, and that is a much different set of strategies. taking the phone away there also doesn't IMO solve problems , it just creates new ones, especially given she is almost an adult. so this one is about cognitive behavior therapy, psychiatric therapy, building coping skills and executive functions, and building stable in person activities and relationships that are preferable to the online relationships. and trying to lower the social media usage to close friends + humour only rather than flirting with boys in remote countries.
- wpietri 3y ago
  Thanks! This is a very interesting comment. It definitely stands in contrast to the people suggesting here that monitoring technology usage is easy-peasy.

leonidasv 3y ago

> it is quite hard to completely monitor their usage of it I disagree. Google Parent Link[0] and YouTube parental controls[1] are very advanced. But most parents just don't care setting it up and them complains they don't know what their kids are watching online. [0] https://families.google/familylink/ https://families.google/familylink/ [1] https://support.google.com/youtubekids/answer/6172308?hl=en#zippy=%2Creview-your-childs-watch-history https://support.google.com/youtubekids/answer/6172308?hl=en#...

elzbardico 3y ago
The thing is that a lot of people nowadays are not really ready to invest time in their kids. Not setting up parental controls on their kids' devices is just a symptom of that.

parasubvert 3y ago

It's something I'm currently doing with my 14 year old. the phone requires approval for app installs, so no social media. I have the phone unlock code and track browser history both at the phone and the router. He can and does use incognito mode, and the router mostly catches the porn URLs if any (thankfully not a lot - more gross out sites which we have chats about). I track Youtube history as he uses my premium account to avoid ads + usually can see that stuff at the router. Next step i've been meaning to do is setup a forwarding proxy so that even cell data use is tracked. Generally if he does things I get concerned about, we have a conversation about what worries me, and how i want him to adjust his habits. this sometimes works, sometimes reverts back and requires a reminder. all of this can blow up into full on blocking and acrimony eventually, I guess. i am working on his coping and judgement so that when he does branch out he has tools to handle what he runs into. I grew up in the late 80s "very online" with BBS's and internet in the early 90s... and got into a lot of dangerous things without my parents really knowing. I have a sense of how to protect against that but yes there are limits. We are also recently fostering a 16 year old girl with terrible social media dependency and a history of self harm, and that is a much different set of strategies. taking the phone away there also doesn't IMO solve problems , it just creates new ones, especially given she is almost an adult. so this one is about cognitive behavior therapy, psychiatric therapy, building coping skills and executive functions, and building stable in person activities and relationships that are preferable to the online relationships. and trying to lower the social media usage to close friends + humour only rather than flirting with boys in remote countries.

wpietri 3y ago
Thanks! This is a very interesting comment. It definitely stands in contrast to the people suggesting here that monitoring technology usage is easy-peasy.