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I’ve been alive a long time and I never went to a meeting where this was discussed or decided. I’ve never heard of such a meeting. And it doesn’t make sense. I

I’ve been alive a long time and I never went to a meeting where this was discussed or decided. I’ve never heard of such a meeting. And it doesn’t make sense. If you spend part of your life in a certain identity, and you interact with people under that identity, and they know you that way, banning people from talking about you in that identity is discourteous to THEM. You are laying a claim on other people’s minds that you have no right to make. It’s not just about names, it’s about policing memory and attempting to manufacture a personal brand through social coercion. It’s immoral. I remember being a kid when a man named Bruce was on Wheaties boxes. Now some would say I am not permitted to discuss my own life in relation to that experience. Yes that is a curtailment of speech. (Not in a constitutional sense, though, since the government isn’t restricting it.)

djur 3y ago
OK, so if someone got married and changed their last name, you would feel OK continuing to refer to them by their maiden name? Even if they no longer used that name and asked you to use their new name? You wouldn't expect any kind of social consequences for that?
- satisfice 3y ago
  That’s not the argument I made, is it? You aren’t making much effort to understand people who struggle with the “deadnaming” thing, are you?
kaba0 3y ago
So if you tell people that you prefer John to Johnny, and they continue calling you Johnny, they are not scumbags? That’s such a trivial, no effort courtesy on another human being’s part that I fail to see all this talk about it. Just.. fucking call people by the name they ask you to. Also, no sane person would get angry at the occasional fuck up in naming them if your intentions are good. Just be a decent person.
- satisfice 3y ago
  You are committing a worse version of that scumbaggery right now. I told you my argument and you reply as if I said something different. I am not talking about the fact that my sister converted to Hinduism and now, instead of Kristelle, she likes to be called Gauri. We call her Gauri to her face. But her siblings, when discussing events with her in our past, still refer to her as Kristelle amongst each other. That was her identity then. Doing this is not being a jerk.
dmbche 3y ago
Ha - it's a little funny that the biggest issue you can find with using the right name is a guy who was on cereal boxes. It sure seems like it's not that big a deal for you - sure seems like a big deal to them.
- satisfice 3y ago
  It’s a little funny that you trivialize points that don’t matter you and think that by doing that you have made some kind of argument against trivialization and in favor of treating people decently.

djur 3y ago

OK, so if someone got married and changed their last name, you would feel OK continuing to refer to them by their maiden name? Even if they no longer used that name and asked you to use their new name? You wouldn't expect any kind of social consequences for that?

satisfice 3y ago
That’s not the argument I made, is it? You aren’t making much effort to understand people who struggle with the “deadnaming” thing, are you?

kaba0 3y ago

So if you tell people that you prefer John to Johnny, and they continue calling you Johnny, they are not scumbags? That’s such a trivial, no effort courtesy on another human being’s part that I fail to see all this talk about it. Just.. fucking call people by the name they ask you to. Also, no sane person would get angry at the occasional fuck up in naming them if your intentions are good. Just be a decent person.

satisfice 3y ago
You are committing a worse version of that scumbaggery right now. I told you my argument and you reply as if I said something different. I am not talking about the fact that my sister converted to Hinduism and now, instead of Kristelle, she likes to be called Gauri. We call her Gauri to her face. But her siblings, when discussing events with her in our past, still refer to her as Kristelle amongst each other. That was her identity then. Doing this is not being a jerk.

dmbche 3y ago

Ha - it's a little funny that the biggest issue you can find with using the right name is a guy who was on cereal boxes. It sure seems like it's not that big a deal for you - sure seems like a big deal to them.

satisfice 3y ago
It’s a little funny that you trivialize points that don’t matter you and think that by doing that you have made some kind of argument against trivialization and in favor of treating people decently.