4 ms·

I don't think parents can just keep their kids off of social media, at least teens. How are they supposed to function socially if they're not even able to enter

I don't think parents can just keep their kids off of social media, at least teens. How are they supposed to function socially if they're not even able to enter the spaces where a huge amount of the socializing is happening? What about during the pandemic, when it was virtually all online? If the goal is to promote their mental health and their growth, cutting them off from their peer group doesn't seem like a promising strategy. It seems silly to blame the parents when the world has shifted around them, outside of their control.

geraldwhen 3y ago
Many teens did not isolate. They had no reason to. Virtual relationships are low value, and I encourage my kids to do things in person.
- maxbond 3y ago
  Well those are certainly views you're entitled to. Many of my most meaningful friendships have been with people I've never met in person. Teens are/were able both to contract and to spread COVID, which are two excellent reasons they might have isolated during the stay at home/shelter in place advisories. That said, encouraging your kids to interact in person seems reasonable to me.
gitowiec 3y ago
The space you call social media, is not a space where children learn social behaviours.
- maxbond 3y ago
  Why do you say that? I'm part of one of the earlier cohorts (I assume) to go through high school on Facebook, and absolutely a huge part of my social life was on Facebook. I organized our senior ditch day on Facebook. My awkward first attempts at flirting were on Facebook. I'm not saying it's a good or healthy space for teens to socialize, but I do contend it's an important one.
  - wiseowise 3y ago
    Facebook of your youth is completely different system.
    - maxbond 3y ago
      Maybe so, but my claim is that social media is an important part of our social landscape, one that you can't simply deprive a kid of without consequence, not that Facebook is this or is that.
      - bboygravity 3y ago
        You can absolutely function perfectly fine without social media as a kid or adult. Hypothesis/opinion: a large portion of the world has no access to the internet or social media and those people are doing better in terms of mental health than those with access. Also there's a significant amount of kids without access (because their parents don't let them) even in the Western world and they seem to be doing fine (if not better) as well.
        maxbond 3y ago
        It's not that you need to log on to an app to function, it's that to function socially, you need to be in contact with the people in your community. In a community with limited Internet access, of course that happens in person. But that isn't really comparable to not being on the internet in a community that generally is. I'm sure plenty of teens would do fine without social media, some would probably prefer it because some people prefer limited social contact, but we can't make a blanket statement that we can yank kids offline and it'll all be fine. The criticism I'm hearing in this thread seems to be, "parents are doing something uncomplicatedly irresponsible, it's obvious kids should be off social media," but frankly the analysis I'm seeing behind that is pretty thin (I'm gathering this is more a gut feeling for people than a reasoned position? Which is valid and all, it just doesn't make for good discussion since it can't be transmitted to or evaluated by another person), and this is a complex issue without such simple solutions.
- micromacrofoot 3y ago
  it’s how everyone organizes meeting in real life when it happens, without social media you are very often left out
Aerbil313 3y ago
> if they're not even able to enter the spaces where a huge amount of the socializing is happening That’s anti-socializing. That is nothing but huge skinner boxes. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning_chamber https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning_chamber

geraldwhen 3y ago

Many teens did not isolate. They had no reason to. Virtual relationships are low value, and I encourage my kids to do things in person.

maxbond 3y ago
Well those are certainly views you're entitled to. Many of my most meaningful friendships have been with people I've never met in person. Teens are/were able both to contract and to spread COVID, which are two excellent reasons they might have isolated during the stay at home/shelter in place advisories. That said, encouraging your kids to interact in person seems reasonable to me.

gitowiec 3y ago

The space you call social media, is not a space where children learn social behaviours.

maxbond 3y ago
Why do you say that? I'm part of one of the earlier cohorts (I assume) to go through high school on Facebook, and absolutely a huge part of my social life was on Facebook. I organized our senior ditch day on Facebook. My awkward first attempts at flirting were on Facebook. I'm not saying it's a good or healthy space for teens to socialize, but I do contend it's an important one.
- wiseowise 3y ago
  Facebook of your youth is completely different system.
  - maxbond 3y ago
    Maybe so, but my claim is that social media is an important part of our social landscape, one that you can't simply deprive a kid of without consequence, not that Facebook is this or is that.
    - bboygravity 3y ago
      You can absolutely function perfectly fine without social media as a kid or adult. Hypothesis/opinion: a large portion of the world has no access to the internet or social media and those people are doing better in terms of mental health than those with access. Also there's a significant amount of kids without access (because their parents don't let them) even in the Western world and they seem to be doing fine (if not better) as well.
      - maxbond 3y ago
        It's not that you need to log on to an app to function, it's that to function socially, you need to be in contact with the people in your community. In a community with limited Internet access, of course that happens in person. But that isn't really comparable to not being on the internet in a community that generally is. I'm sure plenty of teens would do fine without social media, some would probably prefer it because some people prefer limited social contact, but we can't make a blanket statement that we can yank kids offline and it'll all be fine. The criticism I'm hearing in this thread seems to be, "parents are doing something uncomplicatedly irresponsible, it's obvious kids should be off social media," but frankly the analysis I'm seeing behind that is pretty thin (I'm gathering this is more a gut feeling for people than a reasoned position? Which is valid and all, it just doesn't make for good discussion since it can't be transmitted to or evaluated by another person), and this is a complex issue without such simple solutions.
micromacrofoot 3y ago
it’s how everyone organizes meeting in real life when it happens, without social media you are very often left out

Aerbil313 3y ago

> if they're not even able to enter the spaces where a huge amount of the socializing is happening That’s anti-socializing. That is nothing but huge skinner boxes. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning_chamber https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning_chamber