3 ms·

Yeah, first off there's nothing special about "blood" relationships. It's just the people you grew up around, so you're more partial to those people, because ti

by xracy 3y ago

Yeah, first off there's nothing special about "blood" relationships. It's just the people you grew up around, so you're more partial to those people, because time in = time out. My siblings and I aren't close because we're related. The proof of that is my parents and I aren't close. They rely too much on thinking they don't have to show up for the relationship because "they created/raised me." My siblings, friends and romantic relationships know I could end the relationship if I'm unhappy with it. They are all the same, and all invested in it. They don't think they deserve anything special from me. They know they have to earn it. I don't feel obligation to keep these relationships alive. I just do because I've gotten good things out of them in the past. If you think there's something special about the contract of marriage... I gotta tell you, that divorce is a thing. There is no difference between any of these. I can join or leave any of these relationships as I like, and I do for the same reasons. Maybe not the exact same reasons, but the same general reasons of "I'm getting less out than I am putting in".

nashashmi 3y ago
Depending on the laws of the state you live in, divorce is not exactly a thing you can pick off a shelf. Sorry that your world is so deeply broken where blood relationships don’t mean anything to you. Family is family and that matters more than friendships. Even if you find greater acceptance in other social circles, family is always going to be different. Joining and leaving relationships isn’t the only kind of relationship that exist. Some are bonds that you cannot break. Some are contracts that you enter into. And some are transient and fleeting, like you described. Virtually all relationships are a trade. No trade means no relationship.
- xracy 3y ago
  1. Yeah, so? Different people live in different states. That doesn't make my point about divorce less valid. 2. Who said my world is so deeply broken? That feels like an unnecessary assessment to force your worldview to match why my outlook is so different from yours. Frankly it's a little rude. I have meaningful familial bonds. They aren't inherently different from friendships just because they're family. I am closer to my siblings because we all understand that there is nothing more special about our bond than what we have already put into our relationship (which is a lot). I have less of a relationship with my parents because they don't understand this. I live a pretty happy and good life as I see it, partially because I've learned this. 3. Every bond is breakable, it's just that the more you put into it, the harder it is to break (or more extreme the action that would break it). 4. I don't know what you mean by all relationships are a trade, but it's the most similar thing I see to my other assessments except that you have a strange carveout for points 1-3.
  - nashashmi 3y ago
    You are too young to know any better. And too angry to understand what everyone is saying to you. You make your own world of explanations to feel like everything is ok.
    - thomastjeffery 3y ago
      This person is angry at you. This is because you are being rude to them. But this single conversation isn't representative of the entire rest of their life! Just because they are angry with you does not mean they are angry with everyone else! If you can't see that, it's because you are a narcissist. You think what you are saying is what everyone is saying? On the contrary! I'm a person, and I'm right here saying something else! > You make your own world of explanations to feel like everything is ok. We've just illustrated that is what you are doing right here. This is a pretty clear-cut case of projection. Are you just too old to know any better? I don't buy that sentiment at all: if you can read, you can learn.
      - nashashmi 3y ago
        And obviously you are angry too. Whether it be at me or at someone else, rationality does not follow. The subject triggers. The disagreeable responses trigger. At this point, the best thing to do is disengage.
        thomastjeffery 3y ago
        > Whether it be at me or at someone else, rationality does not follow. Nah, I'm angry with you, as a rational reaction to your narcissism. You should do something about that.
        nashashmi 3y ago
        Rationality does not follow.

by xracy 3y ago

nashashmi 3y ago

Depending on the laws of the state you live in, divorce is not exactly a thing you can pick off a shelf. Sorry that your world is so deeply broken where blood relationships don’t mean anything to you. Family is family and that matters more than friendships. Even if you find greater acceptance in other social circles, family is always going to be different. Joining and leaving relationships isn’t the only kind of relationship that exist. Some are bonds that you cannot break. Some are contracts that you enter into. And some are transient and fleeting, like you described. Virtually all relationships are a trade. No trade means no relationship.

xracy 3y ago
1. Yeah, so? Different people live in different states. That doesn't make my point about divorce less valid. 2. Who said my world is so deeply broken? That feels like an unnecessary assessment to force your worldview to match why my outlook is so different from yours. Frankly it's a little rude. I have meaningful familial bonds. They aren't inherently different from friendships just because they're family. I am closer to my siblings because we all understand that there is nothing more special about our bond than what we have already put into our relationship (which is a lot). I have less of a relationship with my parents because they don't understand this. I live a pretty happy and good life as I see it, partially because I've learned this. 3. Every bond is breakable, it's just that the more you put into it, the harder it is to break (or more extreme the action that would break it). 4. I don't know what you mean by all relationships are a trade, but it's the most similar thing I see to my other assessments except that you have a strange carveout for points 1-3.
- nashashmi 3y ago
  You are too young to know any better. And too angry to understand what everyone is saying to you. You make your own world of explanations to feel like everything is ok.
  - thomastjeffery 3y ago
    This person is angry at you. This is because you are being rude to them. But this single conversation isn't representative of the entire rest of their life! Just because they are angry with you does not mean they are angry with everyone else! If you can't see that, it's because you are a narcissist. You think what you are saying is what everyone is saying? On the contrary! I'm a person, and I'm right here saying something else! > You make your own world of explanations to feel like everything is ok. We've just illustrated that is what you are doing right here. This is a pretty clear-cut case of projection. Are you just too old to know any better? I don't buy that sentiment at all: if you can read, you can learn.
    - nashashmi 3y ago
      And obviously you are angry too. Whether it be at me or at someone else, rationality does not follow. The subject triggers. The disagreeable responses trigger. At this point, the best thing to do is disengage.
      - thomastjeffery 3y ago
        > Whether it be at me or at someone else, rationality does not follow. Nah, I'm angry with you, as a rational reaction to your narcissism. You should do something about that.
        nashashmi 3y ago
        Rationality does not follow.