3 ms·

> Just a few more pulls and the big payout will come. You've spent so many quarters on the slot machine, it'll definitely pay out at any moment. You sound like

> Just a few more pulls and the big payout will come. You've spent so many quarters on the slot machine, it'll definitely pay out at any moment. You sound like someone who has won at gambling. Your success is not the only possible or valid path. What you have shared may be wise advice, but advice itself is never a guarantee.

uoaei 3y ago
The age-old adage "luck is preparation plus opportunity" is relevant here. I decided a while ago to be better at being with people, and started preparing myself toward that goal. It's taken a while but I'm doing well now. Also I've set myself up for success by living in a place that attracts and fosters the kinds of folks I like to spend time with -- this is really super important, people aren't the same everywhere you go. Then as summer began coming on this year and people seem to have dropped all those pandemic-time idiosyncracies I've been giving myself ample opportunity to mix with extended friend groups and random meetups (mostly bike rides and races in my case) to great benefit for everyone involved.
- thomastjeffery 3y ago
  My point is that I'm not worried about winning or losing the lottery. I'm not playing. I'm not missing out, either. The expectation is that I'm filling a void with casual relationships; and that that void is a single committed romance. I never had that void to begin with. I sincerely am fulfilled by uncommitted relationships. They aren't casual to me: they are as serious and meaningful to me as monogamous partnership is to my parents. The most important part to me is empathy. I crave new ideas and perspectives: I get them by empathizing with more people.
  - uoaei 3y ago
    The way the previous comment came across to me was as from a cynical incel type rather than a more reasoned MGTOW-adjacent approach, sorry for the misunderstanding.
    - thomastjeffery 3y ago
      This is the failure of threads: we section ourselves off into pairs, but each of us is still listening to the room.

uoaei 3y ago

The age-old adage "luck is preparation plus opportunity" is relevant here. I decided a while ago to be better at being with people, and started preparing myself toward that goal. It's taken a while but I'm doing well now. Also I've set myself up for success by living in a place that attracts and fosters the kinds of folks I like to spend time with -- this is really super important, people aren't the same everywhere you go. Then as summer began coming on this year and people seem to have dropped all those pandemic-time idiosyncracies I've been giving myself ample opportunity to mix with extended friend groups and random meetups (mostly bike rides and races in my case) to great benefit for everyone involved.

thomastjeffery 3y ago
My point is that I'm not worried about winning or losing the lottery. I'm not playing. I'm not missing out, either. The expectation is that I'm filling a void with casual relationships; and that that void is a single committed romance. I never had that void to begin with. I sincerely am fulfilled by uncommitted relationships. They aren't casual to me: they are as serious and meaningful to me as monogamous partnership is to my parents. The most important part to me is empathy. I crave new ideas and perspectives: I get them by empathizing with more people.
- uoaei 3y ago
  The way the previous comment came across to me was as from a cynical incel type rather than a more reasoned MGTOW-adjacent approach, sorry for the misunderstanding.
  - thomastjeffery 3y ago
    This is the failure of threads: we section ourselves off into pairs, but each of us is still listening to the room.