3 ms·
When I was working at Starbucks ages ago, my best friend would come on by regularly. We're both tall men. Coworkers thought I was gay, and had a sexual relatio
by pierat 3y ago
When I was working at Starbucks ages ago, my best friend would come on by regularly. We're both tall men.
Coworkers thought I was gay, and had a sexual relationship with him, because it was and still is a strong bond.
In actuality, Im bisexual, and we weren't in a sexual relationship. But men aren't "allowed" to have close bonds with other men. There are exceptions: military, police, mens social clubs (masons, shriners, etc). Outside of those, society thinks you're just gay.
As for me, I don't particularly care what "society" thinks. I'm not going to trade my agency for some vapid "society groupthink". Did I let my coworkers think I'm gay and dating my best friend? Sure did. And it had a cool other effect - women coworkers treated me more like one of 'them', and was much less defensive than around the other men who worked there.
- nineplay 3y agoDisclaimer: I do not live in a red state or a red city. My impression is that in red states or red cities you would not have had a the same level of acceptance. Maybe I read too much sensational media, but the situation seems to be getting worse and worse for men who don't care what society thinks.
- pierat 3y agoTo be fair, I was working at the Starbucks in a red state, in a red city. However I would also agree that overall decorum has definitely deteriorated. It used to be someone who disapproved would either grit their teeth or just leave. Now, I've seen shouting matches over that sort of stuff. I guess it could always have been that bad, just not for "normies". And now with less decorum, those normally quiet harassment is now blatant and in your face. I don't think it's just your perception of social media.