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Sure, you can have a bunch of friends and sex partners. Those can never fulfill what a life partner is. Friends are great. Casual sex can be great. Neither of

Sure, you can have a bunch of friends and sex partners. Those can never fulfill what a life partner is. Friends are great. Casual sex can be great. Neither of those give you someone who is so close to you they become part of your identity. Casual sex especially can be deceiving if one person is using that as a vehicle for emotional investment and the other isn't. That's how people get deeply hurt. Relationships end. Even the most loved partner eventually dies. Your friendships and casual sex friend relationships probably end more frequently, are shorter and never have the chance for depth. Maybe you find the right person and get deep quickly, but that's like giving up a savings account hoping to win the lottery.

thomastjeffery 3y ago
You are assuming that my social experiences are shallow. They are not. You know that sex is not exclusive to intimacy. Do you know that intimacy is not exclusive to sex? I have found the right person many times. I don't stop when I find them. That's like putting all of your investment into one stock. Maybe you did win the lottery. That's great! Should I be expecting the same experience? I don't. > Casual sex especially can be deceiving if one person is using that as a vehicle for emotional investment and the other isn't. That's how people get deeply hurt. That's what a lot of marriages are. The only resolution to this situation is communication. Why is that communication difficult? We have a strong social expectation for exclusive romantic commitment. To pursue non-committed romance is to break that social expectation. It's difficult, but not impossible. We would all be better off without that expectation. If people felt free to pursue casual relationships, they would be more likely to self-select away from the dating pool of serious-commitment seekers. Instead, we have people being dishonest and subversive about their relationship goals, because they feel it is the only way to fulfill their need for sex and intimacy. They end up in a relationship with someone who depends on their commitment, but that very commitment is a lie: a lie told to the other person, and often even to themselves.
standardUser 3y ago
Friendships outlast romantic relationships on a consistent basis. Ask anyone who has ever gone through a break up. I'd also consider that there is an entire universe of romantic relationships between "life partner" and "casual sex", and it's between those two extremes that most relationships exist.

thomastjeffery 3y ago

You are assuming that my social experiences are shallow. They are not. You know that sex is not exclusive to intimacy. Do you know that intimacy is not exclusive to sex? I have found the right person many times. I don't stop when I find them. That's like putting all of your investment into one stock. Maybe you did win the lottery. That's great! Should I be expecting the same experience? I don't. > Casual sex especially can be deceiving if one person is using that as a vehicle for emotional investment and the other isn't. That's how people get deeply hurt. That's what a lot of marriages are. The only resolution to this situation is communication. Why is that communication difficult? We have a strong social expectation for exclusive romantic commitment. To pursue non-committed romance is to break that social expectation. It's difficult, but not impossible. We would all be better off without that expectation. If people felt free to pursue casual relationships, they would be more likely to self-select away from the dating pool of serious-commitment seekers. Instead, we have people being dishonest and subversive about their relationship goals, because they feel it is the only way to fulfill their need for sex and intimacy. They end up in a relationship with someone who depends on their commitment, but that very commitment is a lie: a lie told to the other person, and often even to themselves.

standardUser 3y ago

Friendships outlast romantic relationships on a consistent basis. Ask anyone who has ever gone through a break up. I'd also consider that there is an entire universe of romantic relationships between "life partner" and "casual sex", and it's between those two extremes that most relationships exist.