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I feel like this is demented, frankly. If you loved your wife, then you would only want her to flourish. It seems necessarily disordered to think about your exp
by nathan_compton 3y ago
I feel like this is demented, frankly. If you loved your wife, then you would only want her to flourish. It seems necessarily disordered to think about your expectations of your partner in terms of "I should be her top priority." You should expect that she treats you with respect, obviously, and that might mean different things for different people, but I think centering the idea of "she must see me as Numero Uno" is a bad way to think about a lifelong relationship.
A healthy relationship is one where each partner is dedicated selflessly to the flourishing of the other partner.
In any case, the idea of a "number one person" is also really two dimensional and limiting.
- bluefirebrand 3y ago> A healthy relationship is one where each partner is dedicated selflessly to the flourishing of the other partner This sounds co-dependent to me, not healthy at all.
- nathan_compton 3y agoIt would be if each partner we dedicated exclusively to the flourishing of the other partner. But in this relationship neither partner would find that an acceptable state of affairs.
- Barrin92 3y agoit's the opposite. What the OP is describing is simply altruistic love. You love someone for who they are, not how they relate to you. That is the only form of relationship that involves no dependency. Any relationship that makes your feelings for someone dependent on their feelings for you is effectively a complicated form of bargaining.