4 ms·

The only time my vehicle ever used its emergency braking was when my wife’s mom was driving, and my entire family was in the car. I was so grateful for it. The

The only time my vehicle ever used its emergency braking was when my wife’s mom was driving, and my entire family was in the car. I was so grateful for it. The scariest part was that she accelerated toward a truck that was travelling very slowly in front of us, the car braked so hard we were all pressed into our seatbelts and the car was audibly vibrating as it lurched from the anti lock brakes. We were literally inches from hitting this truck, and her mom was completely unperturbed. Like nothing had happened. I was shaken. If I’d done that myself I’d think I needed to take a brake from driving and seriously contemplate how that was able to happen. She just kept driving and talking about whatever she was talking about. Disturbing stuff. So, that’s why I’m generally in favour of emergency braking. It completely saved my ass.

jacquesm 3y ago
Sounds like you don't want your wife's mom driving with you and the rest of the family in the car. Sounds like she quite possibly should not be driving at all. That must have been pretty scary.
- steve_adams_86 3y ago
  It was one of the scariest vehicle incidents I’ve been in (thankfully). She really shouldn’t be driving; she seems almost senile to me, but her kids and husband are determined to pretend nothing is going on. She lives full time in Mexico so there’s not a lot I can do other than be grateful for that buffer.
  - jacquesm 3y ago
    I once was in the car with an American friend who was looking sideways while talking to me and would then swerve around cars in front at the last moment. Very annoying and quite scary. I asked him to stop the car and got out. There is no way I'll trust my life to someone who isn't 100% on the ball when it comes to driving. Good for you you did not end up in an accident there, and it must really suck that you are essentially powerless to do something about it given the family relationship. But, at least one very positive story about automatic emergency braking. I think such features are quite possibly a net positive from a statistical perspective but for me personally they are a no-go.
    - steve_adams_86 3y ago
      > essentially powerless to do something about it given the family relationship Yeah, the fallout of telling a person they can’t drive is unreal. It took a couple years to go from incredulity towards me to finally accepting that I’m not joking/grumpy/changing my mind. Some bad driving is so egregiously bad though that it can’t be chalked up as a lapse of judgement or something. There is a strange sort of entitlement to recklessness like you described (why in the world would you take your eyes off the road to talk!?), and we seem to take for granted the fact that we’re still alive despite flying around in metal boxes within feet of each other. I think some especially bad drivers are severely influenced by survivorship bias. They’re not dead yet so they must be fine/good at driving and different from the people who’ve had bad accidents already. But they’re only protected by very bad odds.
      - jacquesm 3y ago
        I have a similar situation with an 87 year old family member that still drives and I've offered to be on call for chauffeur service or to pay for cabs or whatever it takes but they will keep doing it until they either die from other causes or get into an accident, which in my opinion is only a matter of time. So far I've managed to get them to rely on me for two really long rides and at least they no longer go on the highway. Highly frustrating because on the one hand I applaud the person for being that old and still self-reliant but on the other hand I am seriously concerned about other users of the road who are effectively in danger. And short of having them declared legally incompetent there isn't much that I can do beyond offer help.
        chubs 3y ago
        Sorry to hear about that situation :( Here’s how it played out in my grandmothers life: she was fiercely independent until she (likely) caused a crash in her late 80s, ended up in hospital, then was never properly healthy again, she spiralled down gradually. It’s just not good :( hope that doesn’t upset you.
        jacquesm 3y ago
m463 3y ago
I think this is human nature at play. She knew what happened. It's just that people don't confront huge mistakes like this head-on. I don't know how many people have pulled out in front of me, almost killing me and they seem to just wave. Although once an amazing thing happened. I had gotten up early at o-dark-thirty and was driving through the suburbs and this guy came barelling out of a sidestreet. I hit the brakes and he made the turn, cut me off and drove in front of me. When we got to the next stop sign, he got out of the car and came back towards me. I was about to back up and gtfo, but rolled down the window. He said "it's so early, and I didn't see you there and I'm so sorry." Very nice and I completely relaxed and smiled. oh, also good time for the old one: I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
- steve_adams_86 3y ago
  > I think this is human nature at play Without a doubt it played a roll in suppressing what had happened. There is a weird dynamic where my wife won’t say things to upset her mom in particular ways, and this was one of those cases. They kind of mutually pretended the near-catastrophe away by behaving as though it was no different from a speed bump. This is why I’m pretty sure we’re really not much different from a gorilla or something. We’ve got some sophisticated brain circuits but I have a deep seated sense that most of our brains are still the same old meatballs the other apes are packing around.

jacquesm 3y ago

Sounds like you don't want your wife's mom driving with you and the rest of the family in the car. Sounds like she quite possibly should not be driving at all. That must have been pretty scary.

steve_adams_86 3y ago
It was one of the scariest vehicle incidents I’ve been in (thankfully). She really shouldn’t be driving; she seems almost senile to me, but her kids and husband are determined to pretend nothing is going on. She lives full time in Mexico so there’s not a lot I can do other than be grateful for that buffer.
- jacquesm 3y ago
  I once was in the car with an American friend who was looking sideways while talking to me and would then swerve around cars in front at the last moment. Very annoying and quite scary. I asked him to stop the car and got out. There is no way I'll trust my life to someone who isn't 100% on the ball when it comes to driving. Good for you you did not end up in an accident there, and it must really suck that you are essentially powerless to do something about it given the family relationship. But, at least one very positive story about automatic emergency braking. I think such features are quite possibly a net positive from a statistical perspective but for me personally they are a no-go.
  - steve_adams_86 3y ago
    > essentially powerless to do something about it given the family relationship Yeah, the fallout of telling a person they can’t drive is unreal. It took a couple years to go from incredulity towards me to finally accepting that I’m not joking/grumpy/changing my mind. Some bad driving is so egregiously bad though that it can’t be chalked up as a lapse of judgement or something. There is a strange sort of entitlement to recklessness like you described (why in the world would you take your eyes off the road to talk!?), and we seem to take for granted the fact that we’re still alive despite flying around in metal boxes within feet of each other. I think some especially bad drivers are severely influenced by survivorship bias. They’re not dead yet so they must be fine/good at driving and different from the people who’ve had bad accidents already. But they’re only protected by very bad odds.
    - jacquesm 3y ago
      I have a similar situation with an 87 year old family member that still drives and I've offered to be on call for chauffeur service or to pay for cabs or whatever it takes but they will keep doing it until they either die from other causes or get into an accident, which in my opinion is only a matter of time. So far I've managed to get them to rely on me for two really long rides and at least they no longer go on the highway. Highly frustrating because on the one hand I applaud the person for being that old and still self-reliant but on the other hand I am seriously concerned about other users of the road who are effectively in danger. And short of having them declared legally incompetent there isn't much that I can do beyond offer help.
      - chubs 3y ago
        Sorry to hear about that situation :( Here’s how it played out in my grandmothers life: she was fiercely independent until she (likely) caused a crash in her late 80s, ended up in hospital, then was never properly healthy again, she spiralled down gradually. It’s just not good :( hope that doesn’t upset you.
        jacquesm 3y ago

m463 3y ago

I think this is human nature at play. She knew what happened. It's just that people don't confront huge mistakes like this head-on. I don't know how many people have pulled out in front of me, almost killing me and they seem to just wave. Although once an amazing thing happened. I had gotten up early at o-dark-thirty and was driving through the suburbs and this guy came barelling out of a sidestreet. I hit the brakes and he made the turn, cut me off and drove in front of me. When we got to the next stop sign, he got out of the car and came back towards me. I was about to back up and gtfo, but rolled down the window. He said "it's so early, and I didn't see you there and I'm so sorry." Very nice and I completely relaxed and smiled. oh, also good time for the old one: I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

steve_adams_86 3y ago
> I think this is human nature at play Without a doubt it played a roll in suppressing what had happened. There is a weird dynamic where my wife won’t say things to upset her mom in particular ways, and this was one of those cases. They kind of mutually pretended the near-catastrophe away by behaving as though it was no different from a speed bump. This is why I’m pretty sure we’re really not much different from a gorilla or something. We’ve got some sophisticated brain circuits but I have a deep seated sense that most of our brains are still the same old meatballs the other apes are packing around.