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Ha ... recently single with two young kids. I find it actually easier to raise them (admittedly only every other week). No more arguments about "who's turn is
by stef25 3y ago
Ha ... recently single with two young kids. I find it actually easier to raise them (admittedly only every other week).
No more arguments about "who's turn is it to put them in bed", "why do I always have to do this" etc ... They may seem like simple questions that can easily be answered but it's really quite complex: "Had a tough day at work, could you do it?", which leads to score keeping and different views on what's a "tough" day.
Now I know I have to do 100% of it. I prefer that than to argue about it, clash over differences on how kids should be raised etc
Honestly, the way average people with an otherwise good life have to pay 150$ an hour to a therapist to help them sort out who's turn it is to do the laundry is nothing short of depressing. Try explain that to say, a rice farmer in Vietnam.
And yeah, it's not actually about the laundry but a power play between the mom & dad but that doesn't make it less depressing and certainly not easier to solve.
- ff317 3y agoAs they age, you're going to find a whole different level of arguing about how to raise kids on an every-other-week rotation with conflicting influences/decisions. Trust me, I've seen it. It can work, but you're gonna need to put in some work on the relationship with the other parent to get through it and find decent compromises.
- stef25 3y agoRespectfully, the last thing I'm going to do is put in work with my ex wife. When the kids are with me I'll do whatever I want. Those types of discussions are one of the reasons why we're no longer together.
- senko 3y agoYou're going to love it when the kids reach puberty.
- stef25 3y agoYeah, I believe you :) I'll with that in 10 years.
- DamonHD 3y agoI don't understand all this drama. My kids have reached teenage without many horrors or fights between any of us, and I think that we're all pretty normal.
- emodendroket 3y agoSeems like a different situation if Mom and Dad are not on the same page and completely unwilling to cooperate with each other.
- DamonHD 3y agoThat seems to be a mum and dad problem though, the kids may merely be collateral...
- emodendroket 3y agoSure but the kids are going to catch on and be unhappy, eventually.
- tremon 3y agoSpeaking as someone who's been on the child side of such a relationship: be careful not to berate your children over what they do when with her, and don't put the other parent down in front of your kids. They'll grow up policing their own behaviour to avoid a parent-parent confrontation and that might trigger anxiety issues.
- tasuki 3y agoAs a single parent with one young kid, the "admittedly only every other week" makes a world of difference. I wish languages had different words for single parents like you and single parents like me.