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I don't like the idea that there is a singular "center" of life. Everyone's center is different. Assuming that it's the same for everyone can cause a whole host

by LocalH 3y ago

I don't like the idea that there is a singular "center" of life. Everyone's center is different. Assuming that it's the same for everyone can cause a whole host of problems in people's lives. Societies are so far off from what's truly important in existence, that I fear we may never collectively reach that day where we truly get it right.

thomastjeffery 3y ago
Why have a center at all? Relationships are what we do, not what we are.
- fluoridation 3y ago
  Given that time and energy are finite and must be allocated, it makes the most sense to dedicate the most to just one or two activities so that they have the most chance of success (by whatever metric the person sets) than to evenly distribute resources among all of them. That one or two activities could be called the person's "centers".
  - thomastjeffery 3y ago
    Activities are not infinite. Given the number of days we live, it makes plenty of sense to spend different days on different activities in different places with different people. The only constant here is self. The question is, what experiences fulfill your self? Experiences with one committed partner, or with several friends? I understand that many people prefer the Cathedral. I prefer the Bazaar.
    - nemo44x 3y ago
      You clearly don't have kids/family and that's OK. What you've mentioned in a few places in this thread is just not appetizing at all to people with kids and are doing the whole family thing. I don't think everyone needs to do that as the 1 fulfilling way to live a life - although it is incredibly fulfilling and I understand why so many people do it, or dream of it. But a networked-communal lifestyle is just not appealing to me and probably most people. It's not a social change thing. I mean, I've done it when I was younger and it was fun but I don't know, I think you just grow out of it. Being a dude in his 40's and trying to maintain some large network of meaningful relationships and experiences - it sounds awful and lonely, tbh. People are different from their younger days where you want to socialize like this to where you don't. I don't know, maybe you find a committed group of lifelong lone wolf friends but my experience says most of them will pair off and look for different things than just having fun with friends.
      - thomastjeffery 3y ago
        > You clearly don't have kids/family and that's OK. 1. It being OK is my point. 2. I do have family: I'm just not a parent. I have parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins. I know many and am very close to several. There are many kids in my life. They don't belong to me, but do they truly belong to anyone? We all have different circumstances. I understand if you can't relate to mine. Even so, my experience does exist: it is not defined by yours.

by LocalH 3y ago

thomastjeffery 3y ago

Why have a center at all? Relationships are what we do, not what we are.

fluoridation 3y ago
Given that time and energy are finite and must be allocated, it makes the most sense to dedicate the most to just one or two activities so that they have the most chance of success (by whatever metric the person sets) than to evenly distribute resources among all of them. That one or two activities could be called the person's "centers".
- thomastjeffery 3y ago
  Activities are not infinite. Given the number of days we live, it makes plenty of sense to spend different days on different activities in different places with different people. The only constant here is self. The question is, what experiences fulfill your self? Experiences with one committed partner, or with several friends? I understand that many people prefer the Cathedral. I prefer the Bazaar.
  - nemo44x 3y ago
    You clearly don't have kids/family and that's OK. What you've mentioned in a few places in this thread is just not appetizing at all to people with kids and are doing the whole family thing. I don't think everyone needs to do that as the 1 fulfilling way to live a life - although it is incredibly fulfilling and I understand why so many people do it, or dream of it. But a networked-communal lifestyle is just not appealing to me and probably most people. It's not a social change thing. I mean, I've done it when I was younger and it was fun but I don't know, I think you just grow out of it. Being a dude in his 40's and trying to maintain some large network of meaningful relationships and experiences - it sounds awful and lonely, tbh. People are different from their younger days where you want to socialize like this to where you don't. I don't know, maybe you find a committed group of lifelong lone wolf friends but my experience says most of them will pair off and look for different things than just having fun with friends.
    - thomastjeffery 3y ago
      > You clearly don't have kids/family and that's OK. 1. It being OK is my point. 2. I do have family: I'm just not a parent. I have parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins. I know many and am very close to several. There are many kids in my life. They don't belong to me, but do they truly belong to anyone? We all have different circumstances. I understand if you can't relate to mine. Even so, my experience does exist: it is not defined by yours.