It was over 30 years ago an this is from memory but in one of his notebooks he has this description more or less. Life is really hard and probably not worth th

It was over 30 years ago an this is from memory but in one of his notebooks he has this description more or less. Life is really hard and probably not worth the suffering but once one puts a gun in their mouth and does not pull the trigger you are committed to no longer complaining about life. I guess it's the internal dialog of topics and ideas that are rarely spoken out loud that allured me to his writing. He definitely openly discussed ideas that scare some people.