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This is true. I've run a couple of co-ops and there's a huge difference in engagement when you mostly discuss tasks remotely and when you actually get together

by kqr 3y ago

This is true. I've run a couple of co-ops and there's a huge difference in engagement when you mostly discuss tasks remotely and when you actually get together and do stuff in the same room. I still haven't figured out why that is[1], and if there are aspects of it that can be recreated remotely. ---- [1]: Some ideas I've had is that it's about sunk costs ("Now that I got my ass here anyway, I may as well contribute") or that there's a visual component (perhaps seeing a face triggers some responsibility chemistry in our brains?) or that it's harder to avoid persistent questions when you share a room with someone. I've also speculated that eating together may enhance engagement, but I don't know if that acts as some sort of Skinnerian reward mechanism or if people feel cared for and that triggers their desire to care in return.

dEnigma 3y ago
Only somewhat related but in my experience people are also much quicker to be rude over the phone than when you meet them face to face (something which I paid close attention too, as someone who used to have irrational anxiety about interacting with people)
jrochkind1 3y ago
> I've also speculated that eating together may enhance engagemen Definitely definitely. Even without eating. If it's just "seeing a face", then zoom might suffice -- and zoom might improve things. But I think it's clear that actually being in the same physical space with other people is an important ingredient of building relationships of trust and respect. I imagine neuroscientists could do a lot of research into why, and I imagine it's not just one thing (like "seeing a face"), but fairly complicated. But from many people's experience, it seems pretty clear that it's true. (And I agree eating together is special extremely powerful "magic" here -- which btw is/was another severe cost of people's covid pandemic habits of not eating with people they aren't already intimate with...) Still, I've built relationships of respect and trust with people online too. I think another thing going on is that when someone shows up with an agenda to abuse your trust, it's somewhat easier to detect face-to-face (which doesn't come close to meaning universally reliable; of course it is quite possible for manipulative and sociopathic people to show up face-to-face with agendas of abuse and get away with it).

by kqr 3y ago

dEnigma 3y ago

Only somewhat related but in my experience people are also much quicker to be rude over the phone than when you meet them face to face (something which I paid close attention too, as someone who used to have irrational anxiety about interacting with people)

jrochkind1 3y ago

> I've also speculated that eating together may enhance engagemen Definitely definitely. Even without eating. If it's just "seeing a face", then zoom might suffice -- and zoom might improve things. But I think it's clear that actually being in the same physical space with other people is an important ingredient of building relationships of trust and respect. I imagine neuroscientists could do a lot of research into why, and I imagine it's not just one thing (like "seeing a face"), but fairly complicated. But from many people's experience, it seems pretty clear that it's true. (And I agree eating together is special extremely powerful "magic" here -- which btw is/was another severe cost of people's covid pandemic habits of not eating with people they aren't already intimate with...) Still, I've built relationships of respect and trust with people online too. I think another thing going on is that when someone shows up with an agenda to abuse your trust, it's somewhat easier to detect face-to-face (which doesn't come close to meaning universally reliable; of course it is quite possible for manipulative and sociopathic people to show up face-to-face with agendas of abuse and get away with it).