> thinking of having an "easy escape hatch" probably does not do wonders for the relationship I actually totally disagree with this. The difference between “I’

> thinking of having an "easy escape hatch" probably does not do wonders for the relationship I actually totally disagree with this. The difference between “I’m in this relationship because I love this person but also I have to be for my visa/finances/friendships” and “I’m in this relationship because I love this person and I can leave tomorrow if I want to” for me has been night and day. Neither my partner nor I is reliant on our relationship for good quality of life. There’s nothing stopping one of us from leaving, and I feel that this actually raises the stakes in a healthy way. It doesn’t mean that when challenges come up we bail on the other, if anything it makes them less stressful because we know the other clearly has a vested interest in sorting the problem since they could just bail. Of course children would change this dynamic. Think of it this way: would you be more comfortable in a good job but one which you could be laid off and lose your visa sponsorship and have to upend your life suddenly or scramble for any job, or one in a country where you have the right to live and could find a similar job if you get laid off but take the time to find the right role? If compensation and conditions are similar, I imagine most would prefer the latter.