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Marriage is a tough proposition in the west these days. The cost of childcare has never been higher, both in terms of dollars and opportunity cost, not to menti
by mindvirus 3y ago
Marriage is a tough proposition in the west these days. The cost of childcare has never been higher, both in terms of dollars and opportunity cost, not to mention housing. Of course there are other benefits to getting married, but without the goal of family feeling attainable to many, a major driver for marriage is gone.
- giantg2 3y agoA lot of it is unknown costs too. You might know exactly what it costs to raise a child, but in the event of a divorce the support payments are based on a percent of income and not the actual cost. The courts can basically make any decision they want.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- kitsunesoba 3y agoIt's because of all of this that I've for many years felt a need to have all my ducks in a row before even considering dating with the intention of starting a serious long-term relationship, let alone getting married. No judgement towards anybody with different feelings — everybody's situations differ — but I'd feel like I was irresponsibly leading on the partner in question if I weren't financially reasonably prepared for the commitment involved.
- paulryanrogers 3y agoIn general I'd agree, yet now that I married later and had kids later I think I waited too long. Emotional maturity can come with age and yet some younger folks with more experience or better mentors were years ahead of me. Sometimes I wish there were pre-child counseling focused on helping parents strategize before they're pregnant -- or at least before children are born. Regardless, folks need to do the math, especially if considering having many kids. And still consider their bodies aren't getting any younger or lives and longer.
- kitsunesoba 3y agoYeah, it can be frustrating trying to strike a balance with all the factors involved. It'd help a lot if there weren't biological clocks ticking, slowly degrading both energy and reproductive capacity…
- jitl 3y agoWhy is marriage is a prerequisite to children? As far as I can tell, being unmarried or even single doesn’t prevent pregnancy.
- vinyl7 3y agoBecause its kinda frowned upon for a man to bail and leave the mother and children to fend for themselves.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- paulryanrogers 3y agoFather's don't have to get officially married to stay with the mother or support the children.
- dubeye 3y agoNo but it's much easier for a father to avoid supporting their child and family, if not married. It's not black and white of course, but to some degree, if you are not married, you are likely to find it easier to spend less money on the family
- paulryanrogers 3y agoChild support applies regardless, unless it's an unusual adoption situation. Are you referring to alimony or something else?
- silverquiet 3y agoHuman mating rituals can get way more elaborate than any other animal's.
- mindvirus 3y agoIt's not, and I didn't say it was. However, having children is one of the most cited reasons people get married. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/why-people-get-married-or-move-in-with-a-partner/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/why-peo...