"I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time." That is confidence/self-forgiveness summed up in a mantra. You have ideas floatin

"I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time." That is confidence/self-forgiveness summed up in a mantra. You have ideas floating around in your head about yourself and external "validation" of those ideas result in pain. When someone does something that results in you feeling pain, it's natural to feel defensive. So it's a matter of shifting your focus from external (in)validation towards internal validation.