How is this an API? All I can request is a different number of dicks, and that's it. And then the dicks come out at random length. Will there be a version 2?

How is this an API? All I can request is a different number of dicks, and that's it. And then the dicks come out at random length. Will there be a version 2? I would like parameters for length and girth, and possibly a drop shadow.