4 ms·

It flipped for me at 35. I went from obsessed with the grind/culture/career garbage and just had an aha moment where I said, "hey i have an easy job, with hours

It flipped for me at 35. I went from obsessed with the grind/culture/career garbage and just had an aha moment where I said, "hey i have an easy job, with hours that are so flexible it feels illegal, and my pay is double what most of my friends' dual-incomes are". I started to just focus on hobbies and family and less on work. I don't live to work anymore, I work to live. I still get stellar marks at work, i know my shit and i'm good at it. But the illusion has worn off for me. It's just a job. I meet deadlines, but I also push back on deadlines that require crunch time or weekend work. I push back on weekend or late time work completely now. I'm not embarrassed anymore to say "I don't want to work on the weekend, and its unreasonable for you to expect me to, so that project will get done next week". My job is a means for providing for a comfortable retirement, and a comfortable life. I enjoy tech, but I enjoy my hobbies more. My hobbies keep me healthy and happy, work doesn't do either of those two things. Work is work, that's fine. But let's call it what it is. Let's not forget to live too.

hammyhavoc 3y ago
> "I don't want to work on the weekend, and its unreasonable for you to expect me to, so that project will get done next week" Balls the size of spacehoppers. I love it.
JustLurking2022 3y ago
Honestly, this is the sort I'm rooting to be culled out. I'm all for a healthy work-life balance but have no sympathy for the "rest and vest" folks - there are absolutely people getting paid in the top 1% who work ~25 hours a week and do absolutely nothing useful. Meanwhile, there are plenty of critical teams drowning in work that can't get additional headcount because of layoffs and the fact they don't have the right buzzword in their team name. If you're taking up a seat and coasting, someone else is paying the price. Unfortunately FAANG rating systems aren't great and often reward vanity projects going nowhere over the work keeping the company afloat, so I entirely believe that's possible even while having good ratings.
- tangjurine 3y ago
  But for the person above, it's not like them working harder will help the teams that actually do need more people but aren't getting it.
  - JustLurking2022 3y ago
    Individually, perhaps not. In aggregate, there definitely could be more resources made available for critical services if you could make the org 20% more efficient just by getting rid of people who think they're entitled to a huge paycheck for chilling.
- yamtaddle 3y ago
  Those all read like great reasons to cull and replace a great deal of tech management.
- the_overseer 3y ago
  Agreed with the culling part. I write code for the job and also after hours as my hobby. I wait for the weekend to work on harder/more experimental stuff. I remember the days when I was surrounded by people like me. These days all I hear is 'it's just a job that provides for my hobbies'. And the decline in the work quality is so obvious. And the level of bullshittery and invented office language is through the roof. There is no way these two things aren't connected.
  - pb7 3y ago
    Cool, the rest of us have other hobbies. You’re not better than us, you’re just one dimensional. That’s a drag on work quality in an entirely different way.
    - the_overseer 3y ago
      No. It's not a drag on work quality. Quite the opposite. The fact that people look down upon this kind of passion is exactly what I am talking about when saying that the quality of software is declining. People who view it as "just a job" don't get to high performance levels. And since they are the majority they get to decide. And they decide to choose mediocrity. Consoling themselves that "good code isn't that important", "I'll do it next week", and other excuses.

hammyhavoc 3y ago

> "I don't want to work on the weekend, and its unreasonable for you to expect me to, so that project will get done next week" Balls the size of spacehoppers. I love it.

JustLurking2022 3y ago

Honestly, this is the sort I'm rooting to be culled out. I'm all for a healthy work-life balance but have no sympathy for the "rest and vest" folks - there are absolutely people getting paid in the top 1% who work ~25 hours a week and do absolutely nothing useful. Meanwhile, there are plenty of critical teams drowning in work that can't get additional headcount because of layoffs and the fact they don't have the right buzzword in their team name. If you're taking up a seat and coasting, someone else is paying the price. Unfortunately FAANG rating systems aren't great and often reward vanity projects going nowhere over the work keeping the company afloat, so I entirely believe that's possible even while having good ratings.

tangjurine 3y ago
But for the person above, it's not like them working harder will help the teams that actually do need more people but aren't getting it.
- JustLurking2022 3y ago
  Individually, perhaps not. In aggregate, there definitely could be more resources made available for critical services if you could make the org 20% more efficient just by getting rid of people who think they're entitled to a huge paycheck for chilling.
yamtaddle 3y ago
Those all read like great reasons to cull and replace a great deal of tech management.
the_overseer 3y ago
Agreed with the culling part. I write code for the job and also after hours as my hobby. I wait for the weekend to work on harder/more experimental stuff. I remember the days when I was surrounded by people like me. These days all I hear is 'it's just a job that provides for my hobbies'. And the decline in the work quality is so obvious. And the level of bullshittery and invented office language is through the roof. There is no way these two things aren't connected.
- pb7 3y ago
  Cool, the rest of us have other hobbies. You’re not better than us, you’re just one dimensional. That’s a drag on work quality in an entirely different way.
  - the_overseer 3y ago
    No. It's not a drag on work quality. Quite the opposite. The fact that people look down upon this kind of passion is exactly what I am talking about when saying that the quality of software is declining. People who view it as "just a job" don't get to high performance levels. And since they are the majority they get to decide. And they decide to choose mediocrity. Consoling themselves that "good code isn't that important", "I'll do it next week", and other excuses.