4 ms·

Deep sleep is perhaps a luxury for a modern family man. Work, kids, everything is going against good quality sleep.

coldtea 3y ago
Unless his life is also a luxury, deep sleep is a nessecity. Those other things can take a back seat, unless it's an emergency situation concerning the wife, kids, etc. A modern family man is also no use dead or when performing badly due to lack of good sleep.
PragmaticPulp 3y ago
There are certainly periods of work and early parenthood that make sleep difficult, but that shouldn't be true for more than a few years. Unless you're grinding away at a once in a lifetime opportunity, you shouldn't be sacrificing years of your life to poor sleep to work 16 hour days or something. Make sleep a priority and learn how to set boundaries.
silverpepsi 3y ago
I chose not to partake in any of those things knowing I really need my 9-10 hours. Genetic lottery blessed and cursed me in different ways, and my sleep requirements are one that will dictate my choices in life can't be the same as short sleepers. I was sleeping 6-7 hours through highschool and I can vividly remember it being the worst period of my life, standing in the shower each morning overwhelmed by the thought "I want to sleep so bad I wish I was dead, because that's like, an infinite satisfaction of the desire to sleep." Don't misread this it wasn't a dark thought at all, I was just THAT tired. Am I the only one making the hard choice- choosing good sleep forever?
- spoonfeeder006 3y ago
  Damn thats rough, really schools shouldn't be dragging kids out of bed so damn early. Statistically it goes against their chronotype But hey, sports, right? Its all for sports
- mk67 3y ago
  No, definitely one of the major reasons for me as well.
msh 3y ago
While I see the point with (at least) young kids, I dont see how things like work would go against good quality sleep?
- hutzlibu 3y ago
  Expectations to receive and react to urgent work messages outside office hours. (Don't do this)
mikemcquaid 3y ago
I average 8.5 hours an night, have 3 and 5 year old kids, get up with them half the mornings, eat with them 6 nights a week, gym 3 times a week, run a popular open source project, cofounded a startup (and a staff+ IC until recently) and do my share of chores at home. I’m sure that’s not possible for everyone/everywhere but a non-trivial number of privileged middle-class parents in tech (like me) have convinced themselves it is impossible when it is not.
- markus_zhang 3y ago
  That's pretty good. Some people are energetic and I like it.
  - nomadpenguin 3y ago
    Perhaps all the sleep allows them to be energetic.
- kungfufrog 3y ago
  Admirable. I have similar age kids, average about 6-7 hours of interrupted sleep a night. They wake up between 5 and 6 am, asleep between 7-8 and I often don't go to bed myself until 11pm. I'm writing this comment while sitting next to my 3 year old who has woken up at 11:14pm and called out for comfort to get back to sleep. I do 50% of the cooking, chores, school/daycare drop offs, work an 8.5 hour day 5 days a week, and have effectively zero time for any personal or extracurricular pursuits. I barely get any time alone with my wife as it is and if I gave up any of the moments we can snatch in between kids awake and asleep I don't think there'd be much of a relationship left. Once a fortnight I get a night to myself but often end up socialising. How do you do it? What's different about your life?
  - mikemcquaid 3y ago
    My guesses for things different about my life (not suggesting anyone should do any of these): - my kids have been sleep trained to not wake up so early. They used to and now they don’t. - if my kids wake up in the night: I put them back to bed (repeatedly if necessary) and don’t stay with them unless they are literally vomiting or need other medical attention - I don’t work 8.5 hours a day 5 days a week. I didn’t when I was employed and don’t now - my wife and I alternate week nights when we’re out the house. One of us can feed/bath/bed both kids by ourselves.

Unless his life is also a luxury, deep sleep is a nessecity. Those other things can take a back seat, unless it's an emergency situation concerning the wife, kids, etc. A modern family man is also no use dead or when performing badly due to lack of good sleep.

PragmaticPulp 3y ago

There are certainly periods of work and early parenthood that make sleep difficult, but that shouldn't be true for more than a few years. Unless you're grinding away at a once in a lifetime opportunity, you shouldn't be sacrificing years of your life to poor sleep to work 16 hour days or something. Make sleep a priority and learn how to set boundaries.

silverpepsi 3y ago

I chose not to partake in any of those things knowing I really need my 9-10 hours. Genetic lottery blessed and cursed me in different ways, and my sleep requirements are one that will dictate my choices in life can't be the same as short sleepers. I was sleeping 6-7 hours through highschool and I can vividly remember it being the worst period of my life, standing in the shower each morning overwhelmed by the thought "I want to sleep so bad I wish I was dead, because that's like, an infinite satisfaction of the desire to sleep." Don't misread this it wasn't a dark thought at all, I was just THAT tired. Am I the only one making the hard choice- choosing good sleep forever?

spoonfeeder006 3y ago
Damn thats rough, really schools shouldn't be dragging kids out of bed so damn early. Statistically it goes against their chronotype But hey, sports, right? Its all for sports
mk67 3y ago
No, definitely one of the major reasons for me as well.

msh 3y ago

While I see the point with (at least) young kids, I dont see how things like work would go against good quality sleep?

hutzlibu 3y ago
Expectations to receive and react to urgent work messages outside office hours. (Don't do this)

mikemcquaid 3y ago

I average 8.5 hours an night, have 3 and 5 year old kids, get up with them half the mornings, eat with them 6 nights a week, gym 3 times a week, run a popular open source project, cofounded a startup (and a staff+ IC until recently) and do my share of chores at home. I’m sure that’s not possible for everyone/everywhere but a non-trivial number of privileged middle-class parents in tech (like me) have convinced themselves it is impossible when it is not.

markus_zhang 3y ago
That's pretty good. Some people are energetic and I like it.
- nomadpenguin 3y ago
  Perhaps all the sleep allows them to be energetic.
kungfufrog 3y ago
Admirable. I have similar age kids, average about 6-7 hours of interrupted sleep a night. They wake up between 5 and 6 am, asleep between 7-8 and I often don't go to bed myself until 11pm. I'm writing this comment while sitting next to my 3 year old who has woken up at 11:14pm and called out for comfort to get back to sleep. I do 50% of the cooking, chores, school/daycare drop offs, work an 8.5 hour day 5 days a week, and have effectively zero time for any personal or extracurricular pursuits. I barely get any time alone with my wife as it is and if I gave up any of the moments we can snatch in between kids awake and asleep I don't think there'd be much of a relationship left. Once a fortnight I get a night to myself but often end up socialising. How do you do it? What's different about your life?
- mikemcquaid 3y ago
  My guesses for things different about my life (not suggesting anyone should do any of these): - my kids have been sleep trained to not wake up so early. They used to and now they don’t. - if my kids wake up in the night: I put them back to bed (repeatedly if necessary) and don’t stay with them unless they are literally vomiting or need other medical attention - I don’t work 8.5 hours a day 5 days a week. I didn’t when I was employed and don’t now - my wife and I alternate week nights when we’re out the house. One of us can feed/bath/bed both kids by ourselves.