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> Work doesn't have to be your only source of community, and in fact, it can be problematic when it is, because then your community only lasts as long as your j

> Work doesn't have to be your only source of community, and in fact, it can be problematic when it is, because then your community only lasts as long as your job. Literally all of my adult friends are former coworkers, with some of them not even becoming friends until after we quit jobs. You spend majority of your waking hours at work, where else do you make friends? Please don't say the gym.

kerkeslager 3y ago
> Literally all of my adult friends are former coworkers, with some of them not even becoming friends until after we quit jobs. Ehh, some of my friends are that way too, but a lot of my work friendships have withered when there wasn't work keeping us in contact on a regular basis. > You spend majority of your waking hours at work, where else do you make friends? Please don't say the gym. It doesn't have to be the gym either. I personally have met a lot of my friends out rock climbing, but that's going to vary from person to person because you have to find things you enjoy doing. Going to the gym to meet people if you don't enjoy working out at the gym doesn't make sense. Are there other things you enjoy doing besides work? (Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work).
- the_mar 3y ago
  > Ehh, some of my friends are that way too, but a lot of my work friendships have withered when there wasn't work keeping us in contact on a regular basis. Can you really say they were your friends tho? do you think your rock climbing buddies will be your buddies after you stop? I think going to the gym is not a social activity and I am very tired of bro's giving me "feedback" on my deadlifts. Let's examine your I don't spend majority of hours claim, So there are 24 hours in the day, you work for 8, 2 hours for commuting, 1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise, 7 hours for sleep. You have about 6 hours a day left for "fun". Last time I checked 6<8
  - kerkeslager 3y ago
    > Let's examine your I don't spend majority of hours claim, So there are 24 hours in the day, you work for 8, 2 hours for commuting, 1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise, 7 hours for sleep. You have about 6 hours a day left for "fun". Last time I checked 6<8 Let's examine what you know about my life: last time I checked, nothing. It certainly does not look like what you describe (hint: I don't work 8 hours a day, even on most weekdays). Given the claim was "Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work", it's a bit strange that you've included "1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise" in there. And I agree that you should include commute in calculating your hourly pay, which is why I would not take a job which required 2 hours of commuting per day. And do you work weekends, or are you ignoring a solid (24 x 2) - (7 x 2) = 34 hours of the week here? I'd respond to the part of your post before that, but this math is too absurd.
    - the_mar 3y ago
      Are you assuming I include various things you have to do during the day that are not exactly social into hours you spend at work? No, these are just hours that you end up spending on such activities, every day, because that’s what you have to do to be able to live And i’m not here to argue with you how many hours you work or do not work, that’s absurd. I’m arguing from a general point of what schedule is roughly true for majority of employed people. Of course you as an individual can work 3 hours a day or 17, that’s besides the point. The 34 hours of the weekend is only true for people that have absolutely 0 other obligations, such as children, parents, chores, etc. I’m not here to say that people absolutely must make friends at work, but implying that it’s somehow unhealthy or bad is just incredibly out of touch with how majority of adults live
      - kerkeslager 3y ago
        Remember where I said, "(Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work)." Yeah, I was talking about myself, as indicated by the word "I". So I'm not sure why you decided to "examine" my claim from the perspective of what most people do when that wasn't what I said, and then decided to include a bunch of things that aren't work as work. > I’m not here to say that people absolutely must make friends at work, but implying that it’s somehow unhealthy or bad is just incredibly out of touch with how majority of adults live And I'm not here to say it's somehow unhealthy or bad. That's a hallucination that you had.
ImPostingOnHN 3y ago
Try meetup.com or something similar to hang out with people who share similar interests or are in a similar age range and just want t to socialize
- the_mar 3y ago
  Why do ya’ll think I am socially inept or something?
  - ImPostingOnHN 3y ago
    what about my comment makes you think that, friend?
    - the_mar 3y ago
      I mean I said all of my friends are from past employment. I am pretty content with that. I'm not sure why I need to try meetup. Also I didn't mean to come off as rude, it was more of a joke answer, not trying to come at you for suggesting it
      - ImPostingOnHN 3y ago
        your question was, "where else do you make friends? Please don't say the gym." my comment answered that question (and did not mention the gym) neither the question nor the answer were about you specifically

kerkeslager 3y ago

> Literally all of my adult friends are former coworkers, with some of them not even becoming friends until after we quit jobs. Ehh, some of my friends are that way too, but a lot of my work friendships have withered when there wasn't work keeping us in contact on a regular basis. > You spend majority of your waking hours at work, where else do you make friends? Please don't say the gym. It doesn't have to be the gym either. I personally have met a lot of my friends out rock climbing, but that's going to vary from person to person because you have to find things you enjoy doing. Going to the gym to meet people if you don't enjoy working out at the gym doesn't make sense. Are there other things you enjoy doing besides work? (Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work).

the_mar 3y ago
> Ehh, some of my friends are that way too, but a lot of my work friendships have withered when there wasn't work keeping us in contact on a regular basis. Can you really say they were your friends tho? do you think your rock climbing buddies will be your buddies after you stop? I think going to the gym is not a social activity and I am very tired of bro's giving me "feedback" on my deadlifts. Let's examine your I don't spend majority of hours claim, So there are 24 hours in the day, you work for 8, 2 hours for commuting, 1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise, 7 hours for sleep. You have about 6 hours a day left for "fun". Last time I checked 6<8
- kerkeslager 3y ago
  > Let's examine your I don't spend majority of hours claim, So there are 24 hours in the day, you work for 8, 2 hours for commuting, 1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise, 7 hours for sleep. You have about 6 hours a day left for "fun". Last time I checked 6<8 Let's examine what you know about my life: last time I checked, nothing. It certainly does not look like what you describe (hint: I don't work 8 hours a day, even on most weekdays). Given the claim was "Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work", it's a bit strange that you've included "1 hour for showering, taking a shits, getting dressed and all that, 1 hour for various chores, like buying groceries, laundry, cooking, etc, 1 hour for exercise" in there. And I agree that you should include commute in calculating your hourly pay, which is why I would not take a job which required 2 hours of commuting per day. And do you work weekends, or are you ignoring a solid (24 x 2) - (7 x 2) = 34 hours of the week here? I'd respond to the part of your post before that, but this math is too absurd.
  - the_mar 3y ago
    Are you assuming I include various things you have to do during the day that are not exactly social into hours you spend at work? No, these are just hours that you end up spending on such activities, every day, because that’s what you have to do to be able to live And i’m not here to argue with you how many hours you work or do not work, that’s absurd. I’m arguing from a general point of what schedule is roughly true for majority of employed people. Of course you as an individual can work 3 hours a day or 17, that’s besides the point. The 34 hours of the weekend is only true for people that have absolutely 0 other obligations, such as children, parents, chores, etc. I’m not here to say that people absolutely must make friends at work, but implying that it’s somehow unhealthy or bad is just incredibly out of touch with how majority of adults live
    - kerkeslager 3y ago
      Remember where I said, "(Incidentally, I don't spend the majority of my waking hours at work)." Yeah, I was talking about myself, as indicated by the word "I". So I'm not sure why you decided to "examine" my claim from the perspective of what most people do when that wasn't what I said, and then decided to include a bunch of things that aren't work as work. > I’m not here to say that people absolutely must make friends at work, but implying that it’s somehow unhealthy or bad is just incredibly out of touch with how majority of adults live And I'm not here to say it's somehow unhealthy or bad. That's a hallucination that you had.

ImPostingOnHN 3y ago

Try meetup.com or something similar to hang out with people who share similar interests or are in a similar age range and just want t to socialize

the_mar 3y ago
Why do ya’ll think I am socially inept or something?
- ImPostingOnHN 3y ago
  what about my comment makes you think that, friend?
  - the_mar 3y ago
    I mean I said all of my friends are from past employment. I am pretty content with that. I'm not sure why I need to try meetup. Also I didn't mean to come off as rude, it was more of a joke answer, not trying to come at you for suggesting it
    - ImPostingOnHN 3y ago
      your question was, "where else do you make friends? Please don't say the gym." my comment answered that question (and did not mention the gym) neither the question nor the answer were about you specifically