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I need to be very tired to just stare out the window. Get fidgety and somehow anxious. But a motorcycle ride or a nice drive? Even doing the dishes? Now we’re

by Swizec 3y ago

I need to be very tired to just stare out the window. Get fidgety and somehow anxious. But a motorcycle ride or a nice drive? Even doing the dishes? Now we’re talking! The mind and body are occupied in a mostly autonomus task so the rest of your brain can process and digest. It’s great. Dare I say I almost enjoy doing chores now. Another great option for me is boxing. For those 3 minutes in the ring, you are _not_ thinking about anything else. Whether you like it or not, your mind clears and focuses and only the sparring partner exists. It’s great. You can get that level of focus on a motorcycle, but that gets a little dangerous for my taste. Maybe I should try going to a track.

akhosravian 3y ago
Sorry to be that guy, but IME the fidgety & anxious feeling is almost always some need in one’s life that is being unmet. If you sit with that feeling it often becomes clear exactly what the source is. YMMV especially if you’ve experienced some serious trauma.
- mathgorges 3y ago
  If you’re interested in doing this, but find it hard to sit it the feelings, consider trying Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which involves investigating the root of your feelings within your mind. It’s best to do DBT with a professional, but there’s a large community of DIY DBT practitioners out there. [1] If your unable to investigate the source of some feelings (e.g. because your brain shuts down when you interrogate them) there is a new-ish practice for detangling your thoughts without all the interpersonal unpleasantness of Talk Therapy (that doesn’t mean it won’t be unpleasant in it’s own way). It’s called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Again, working with a professional is best, but it’s possible to be successful with a DIY approach. [2] Disclaimer: I’m not a professional in any form of health, mental or otherwise. I’m just a happy self-administered DBT & EMDR patient :) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp [2]: https://anxietyreleaseapp.com/ https://anxietyreleaseapp.com/
- Swizec 3y ago
  Oh from what I've read it's probably just undiagnosed ADD (for me).
  - akhosravian 3y ago
    FWIW I am diagnosed ADHD (from childhood) and the whole thing that got me to start sitting with the fidgety feeling is the calmness that came out of the first time I sat for 10 minutes felt identical to the effect of stimulant medications for treating my symptoms.
- Agree2468 3y ago
  In my experience, sitting with the feelings pretty reliably leads to panic spiraling. I just don't think my brain is as capable of pulling back a level as yours seems to be. And I'm not sure how to change that.
  - pie420 3y ago
    You have to keep going. You must endure and let your brain process, and learn to relax and exist in a non-stimulated state. Facebook and Tik-tok have fried our brains so much that sitting in silence for 30 minutes is painful because we are used to constant dopamine. Try going on walks, doing guided meditations, leaving your phone in another room and reading a book for 30 minutes. You'll find your brain slowly relax, think more creatively and in a more coherent fashion. It's painful at first, but it's the most important thing you can do.
  - nimbleplum40 3y ago
    Not an endorsement, but you could look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Similar to CBT but a lot of it centers around learning to notice and accept negative feelings without spiraling. Rather than trying to avoid the thoughts, it’s about accepting them and still taking positive _action_ regardless.
- rubicon33 3y ago
  I’m, yea… it is completely clear what the “source” is. I need to MOVE. I was not made to sit in silence and do nothing. I was born to move, physically. After a long run, some weights, etc… I can sit and focus or be in silence. To me the ability to sit in silence is just a test to see if you’re in a settled state.
  - akhosravian 3y ago
    Nice glad that works for you. My language was vague because the unease can come from a lot of different things. Needing exercise or food, being mad about something that happened, processing loss (of family or a job), wanting to connect or reconnect with someone, having ideas for a project I’d like to get going on are a few examples of things that have cone up for me.
alonmower 3y ago
I gave up the moto when my wife and I started trying for a kid, and this is by far the thing I miss most about it. Instant mental clarity on demand. I bike a lot now but the lower stakes mean it's not quite the same.
thfuran 3y ago
I don't think boxing is really the best sport for brain health.
skeeter2020 3y ago
I completely agree with some form of exercise or activity that is not supplemented by audio or anything else. Go for a walk and leave your phone at home. Turn off your car audio. I love to drive with the heater blasting and all the windows down in the winter time. Focus combined with spacial awareness makes me feel very alive.
robohoe 3y ago
Track driving will put you into that mode. It's about 20-25 minutes of pure bliss and focus on your line, braking, throttle control, etc.
sgt 3y ago
Bikers of HN! What do you ride? I have BMW R1200GS.
dbtc 3y ago
Running on trails is like that for me - you must focus or you'll have some face time with a rock. But I also think that just sitting is a more advanced and more rewarding type of meditation. My belief is that it is a skill which can be practiced. One technique is to go through each body part and relax it. Eventually it happens automatically.

by Swizec 3y ago

akhosravian 3y ago

Sorry to be that guy, but IME the fidgety & anxious feeling is almost always some need in one’s life that is being unmet. If you sit with that feeling it often becomes clear exactly what the source is. YMMV especially if you’ve experienced some serious trauma.

mathgorges 3y ago
If you’re interested in doing this, but find it hard to sit it the feelings, consider trying Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which involves investigating the root of your feelings within your mind. It’s best to do DBT with a professional, but there’s a large community of DIY DBT practitioners out there. [1] If your unable to investigate the source of some feelings (e.g. because your brain shuts down when you interrogate them) there is a new-ish practice for detangling your thoughts without all the interpersonal unpleasantness of Talk Therapy (that doesn’t mean it won’t be unpleasant in it’s own way). It’s called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Again, working with a professional is best, but it’s possible to be successful with a DIY approach. [2] Disclaimer: I’m not a professional in any form of health, mental or otherwise. I’m just a happy self-administered DBT & EMDR patient :) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp [2]: https://anxietyreleaseapp.com/ https://anxietyreleaseapp.com/
Swizec 3y ago
Oh from what I've read it's probably just undiagnosed ADD (for me).
- akhosravian 3y ago
  FWIW I am diagnosed ADHD (from childhood) and the whole thing that got me to start sitting with the fidgety feeling is the calmness that came out of the first time I sat for 10 minutes felt identical to the effect of stimulant medications for treating my symptoms.
Agree2468 3y ago
In my experience, sitting with the feelings pretty reliably leads to panic spiraling. I just don't think my brain is as capable of pulling back a level as yours seems to be. And I'm not sure how to change that.
- pie420 3y ago
  You have to keep going. You must endure and let your brain process, and learn to relax and exist in a non-stimulated state. Facebook and Tik-tok have fried our brains so much that sitting in silence for 30 minutes is painful because we are used to constant dopamine. Try going on walks, doing guided meditations, leaving your phone in another room and reading a book for 30 minutes. You'll find your brain slowly relax, think more creatively and in a more coherent fashion. It's painful at first, but it's the most important thing you can do.
- nimbleplum40 3y ago
  Not an endorsement, but you could look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Similar to CBT but a lot of it centers around learning to notice and accept negative feelings without spiraling. Rather than trying to avoid the thoughts, it’s about accepting them and still taking positive _action_ regardless.
rubicon33 3y ago
I’m, yea… it is completely clear what the “source” is. I need to MOVE. I was not made to sit in silence and do nothing. I was born to move, physically. After a long run, some weights, etc… I can sit and focus or be in silence. To me the ability to sit in silence is just a test to see if you’re in a settled state.
- akhosravian 3y ago
  Nice glad that works for you. My language was vague because the unease can come from a lot of different things. Needing exercise or food, being mad about something that happened, processing loss (of family or a job), wanting to connect or reconnect with someone, having ideas for a project I’d like to get going on are a few examples of things that have cone up for me.

alonmower 3y ago

I gave up the moto when my wife and I started trying for a kid, and this is by far the thing I miss most about it. Instant mental clarity on demand. I bike a lot now but the lower stakes mean it's not quite the same.

thfuran 3y ago

I don't think boxing is really the best sport for brain health.

skeeter2020 3y ago

I completely agree with some form of exercise or activity that is not supplemented by audio or anything else. Go for a walk and leave your phone at home. Turn off your car audio. I love to drive with the heater blasting and all the windows down in the winter time. Focus combined with spacial awareness makes me feel very alive.

robohoe 3y ago

Track driving will put you into that mode. It's about 20-25 minutes of pure bliss and focus on your line, braking, throttle control, etc.

sgt 3y ago

Bikers of HN! What do you ride? I have BMW R1200GS.

dbtc 3y ago

Running on trails is like that for me - you must focus or you'll have some face time with a rock. But I also think that just sitting is a more advanced and more rewarding type of meditation. My belief is that it is a skill which can be practiced. One technique is to go through each body part and relax it. Eventually it happens automatically.