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> [...]negotiating with stake holders and making sure the team works well as a whole; I find those very fulfilling and exciting. That seems to assume that, wit

> [...]negotiating with stake holders and making sure the team works well as a whole; I find those very fulfilling and exciting. That seems to assume that, with age, you also gain power. As for myself, I'm hitting 40 now, and have absolutely no power over others whatsoever, and that's a pretty tough spot to be in, because now I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work, and I don't expect anyone ever will, and I also expect it will be more and more of a struggle to keep convincing others to even let me keep doing that.

resonator 3y ago
> I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work. I recommend doing the work that you want (alongside your regular responsibilities) and if you're good at it the offers will follow. If you're not, you'll develop experience.
codr7 3y ago
Nah, I've started asking for that kind of work in the hiring process but it's mostly doing what I can where I am. And it's not about power really, nor control; it's about not needing them; nudging things in the right direction almost without people noticing; to me, that's what people skills is all about. But of course the level of experience helps, because with that comes some respect.
xpe 3y ago
> As for myself, I'm hitting 40 now, and have absolutely no power over others whatsoever, and that's a pretty tough spot to be in, because now I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work, and I don't expect anyone ever will, and I also expect it will be more and more of a struggle to keep convincing others to even let me keep doing that. Sounds rough. We're not in your situation and probably don't understand the situation very well. If you want to continue the conversation, let us know. I'm not going to offer any kind of rah-rah optimism... Low expectations might be a good way to go. A few questions: have you asked for other kinds of work? How have you asked? Have you asked yourself this question: Are you selling or are you buying? (What I mean is this: in terms of linguistics and positioning, are you offering something of value or are you asking others to give you value?) Ideally, you would present your "ask" in a way where both sides benefit. (Apologies if all this is obvious or uninteresting... I'm just starting the conversation.) What else do we need to know so that we can offer thoughts that might be useful?
xpe 3y ago
> As for myself, I'm hitting 40 now I like to think of a numerical age as a relatively high-variance (statistically) way of summarizing a lot of attributes: experience, wisdom, flexibility, free time, passion, pain tolerance, risk tolerance, technical skills, social skills, social preferences, self-confidence, over-confidence, family priorities, geographic mobility, neuroplasticity, and lots more. I suggest taking an inventory by reflecting. This helps in many ways: * People are able to compensate for lots of weaknesses by using other strengths. * Some roles, companies, industries will naturally align better than others. * Reflection can lead to a certain level of acceptance. Own it; be confident in who you are. If there are parts you don't quite understand, be confident that you have started to increase your awareness and process of discovery. This process for many people becomes a very meaningful way to deal with uncertainty. * Don't let others' assumptions (which are frankly, often relatively unexamined) creep into your brain unexamined.
pg_1234 3y ago
> because now I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work People don't offer you opportunities because you're bored with what you have. You offer them a different capability they need.
JohnFen 3y ago
> nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work Don't wait for someone to come to you. Go out and look for the sort of work you want.

resonator 3y ago

> I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work. I recommend doing the work that you want (alongside your regular responsibilities) and if you're good at it the offers will follow. If you're not, you'll develop experience.

codr7 3y ago

Nah, I've started asking for that kind of work in the hiring process but it's mostly doing what I can where I am. And it's not about power really, nor control; it's about not needing them; nudging things in the right direction almost without people noticing; to me, that's what people skills is all about. But of course the level of experience helps, because with that comes some respect.

xpe 3y ago

> As for myself, I'm hitting 40 now, and have absolutely no power over others whatsoever, and that's a pretty tough spot to be in, because now I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work, and I don't expect anyone ever will, and I also expect it will be more and more of a struggle to keep convincing others to even let me keep doing that. Sounds rough. We're not in your situation and probably don't understand the situation very well. If you want to continue the conversation, let us know. I'm not going to offer any kind of rah-rah optimism... Low expectations might be a good way to go. A few questions: have you asked for other kinds of work? How have you asked? Have you asked yourself this question: Are you selling or are you buying? (What I mean is this: in terms of linguistics and positioning, are you offering something of value or are you asking others to give you value?) Ideally, you would present your "ask" in a way where both sides benefit. (Apologies if all this is obvious or uninteresting... I'm just starting the conversation.) What else do we need to know so that we can offer thoughts that might be useful?

xpe 3y ago

> As for myself, I'm hitting 40 now I like to think of a numerical age as a relatively high-variance (statistically) way of summarizing a lot of attributes: experience, wisdom, flexibility, free time, passion, pain tolerance, risk tolerance, technical skills, social skills, social preferences, self-confidence, over-confidence, family priorities, geographic mobility, neuroplasticity, and lots more. I suggest taking an inventory by reflecting. This helps in many ways: * People are able to compensate for lots of weaknesses by using other strengths. * Some roles, companies, industries will naturally align better than others. * Reflection can lead to a certain level of acceptance. Own it; be confident in who you are. If there are parts you don't quite understand, be confident that you have started to increase your awareness and process of discovery. This process for many people becomes a very meaningful way to deal with uncertainty. * Don't let others' assumptions (which are frankly, often relatively unexamined) creep into your brain unexamined.

pg_1234 3y ago

> because now I'm bored with the tech stuff but nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work People don't offer you opportunities because you're bored with what you have. You offer them a different capability they need.

JohnFen 3y ago

> nobody has ever offered me any other kind of work Don't wait for someone to come to you. Go out and look for the sort of work you want.