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>one day you’ll find yourself saying thank you. It doesn’t mean anything without eye contact, so look up from your phone when you say it. Autistic person here,
by nemo 3y ago
>one day you’ll find yourself saying thank you. It doesn’t mean anything without eye contact, so look up from your phone when you say it.
Autistic person here, nope. It still means something even if you have trouble regulating eye contact.
- emmelaich 3y agoLots of people won't even hear it if you don't raise your head. Raising your head - even briefly - is better option than shouting.
- unethical_ban 3y agoEye contact is an inmate human connection and it is good advice to give by default.
- lxgr 3y agoThere are various reasons to not seek or avoid eye contact, and somehow I'd bet that "not knowing/never having heard about eye contact" is not the most probable one on average. In fact, for many of the top reasons, "you should make eye contact" is probably completely useless advice at best.
- unethical_ban 3y ago>There are various reasons to not seek or avoid eye contact Social anxiety, autism, lying, not actually being present in a moment. Some good reasons, some bad. Repeating social norms is not useless.
- JenrHywy 3y agoIt might still mean something to the giver, but far less to the receiver.
- xboxnolifes 3y agoMaybe the receiver should be advised on that.
- JenrHywy 3y agoI have two autistic sons. Obviously we moderate our expectations and responses based on their particular capabilities and preferences. But it's quite a lot of work to override inbuilt social/emotional reactions - more than you can expect from casual acquaintances.
- Doxin 3y agoAs an autistic person, trust me when I say you don't want me to attempt forced eye contact. It's many many many levels more unnerving to have "bad" eye contact than a lack of eye contact.
- mlhpdx 3y agoYes, I identify with this. My adaptation/compensation for it is to be specific with the thanks — never just “thank you” but “thank you for …” and mean it, kindly.
- asdfman123 3y agoIt’s probably not literally about making eye contact. It’s more about paying full attention to the person you’re taking to, even if you don’t make eye contact.
- snapcaster 3y agoIt doesn't to the receiver though. The point is conveying meaning to the other person, not how you internally feel (which obviously nobody but you gets access to)
- nemo 3y agoThe thing is that it's not difficult to convey meaning and a sincere sense of gratitude to people even if you're looking a bit past their shoulder or whatever.