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Ask HN: What do you do to combat loneliness and isolation?
I'm older now but in my teens and twenties I suffered significantly from loneliness, isolation and depression. I don't think I ever found a good way to deal with it. I think spending time with friends was a distraction but never solved the underlying problem. Being married and having kids fixes some of it but I believe a lot has to do with becoming separated from a community you grew up in. Especially for me now I feel more and more like I'm in search of that community.
Just curious to know how people are dealing with or have dealt with these things.
- turtleyacht 3y agoWhat kind of community would you like to be a part of? Do you see yourself as a leader or a follower? Thank-you for working on Malten: https://malten.com/ https://malten.com/
- asim 3y agoI'm an engineer so being part of a Dev community is important. Hackernews is part of that but I have a more intimate group of friends which I maintain a slack with. Right now I'm more in search of a Muslim community. I was surprised by the response to my Eid Mubarak thread. I didn't realise so many Muslims were here. Personally I'm just struggling to find a place to express that part of myself. Twitter isn't the right place, I don't have Muslim friends. It's difficult to find it. Are you using malten?
- turtleyacht 3y agoReligious communities have places of worship. But I'm not sure if you are looking for a digital space or a physical one. Mastadon may have some relevant communities too. More likely to be dev-oriented as well. And I know you're no stranger to building your own stuff :) So there is that possibility. Even a mailing list, if one person joins, that's a start (not a newsletter).
- asim 3y agoYea I've sort of explored all these options and ultimately found that nothing really fit. I grew up in the internet generation. Despite having an in person religious community where I go every Friday to pray it's sort of hard to engage in it otherwise. Everyone is busy living their lives. The world has a rhythm and even religious communities are sucked into that. I'm thinking about building something. Let's call it Micro communities. Small private groups, invite only. Sort of just start by creating a safe space to share and interact in relation to this topic which seems to not fit on other technology platforms. We'll see where it goes after that.
- turtleyacht 3y ago> Are you using malten? Not at this time. I only heard about it recently. I like that it can be self-hosted.
- asim 3y agoThanks, always open to feedback on it. I think we're due for a decentralisation kick but anything we run needs to be drop dead simple.
- sebastianconcpt 3y agoMy understanding of friendships is that they are non-material investments. True friendship can't be materially transactional and needs to exclude material opportunism. But it somehow has to be emotionally transactional. Like making emotional deposits without expecting anything in return but if you choose to whom you gave yours right, paradoxically it pays off plenty. Also true friendship celebrates other's success as you want to see true friends celebrating yours (genuine admiration, the opposite of masqueraded envy). So it has to start from a place of abundance and generosity and set the example and organically evolve. Also, the most technical piece of information I've got on how to detect very early potential for good/deep friendships, sort of "good friend radar algorithm" comes from an idea by St Augustine: genuine friendship comes from same likes and same dislikes. It doesn't matter the culture or history or age, it can be from another galaxy for the matter, if in the deep psychology you share values that you like and share values that you dislike, there is a fertile foundation for good friendship to bloom. A space for a natural emotional alliance.