5 ms·

My issue with the matter is that I have ADHD, and I didn't seek treatment because of wanting to perform better a my job. It's literally the difference between m

My issue with the matter is that I have ADHD, and I didn't seek treatment because of wanting to perform better a my job. It's literally the difference between me keeping my job or not, not crashing my car into another person's vehicle, etc.. I still vastly under-perform compared to my peers despite being medicated. Any person that was taking stimulant medications without ADHD would absolutely blow me out of the water -- it's the main issue I have in regards to stimulants. It's be like a professional athlete taking steroids or other PEDs when competing against a high school aged sports team. When other people use stimulant medication for non-medical purposes then it causes me to be measured against an echelon of performance that is basically unobtainable i.e. the best I can function at is no longer "good enough." I mean, sure, there are probably a few other factors that also contribute to my issues other than just medication (lack of organization skills, past traumas, etc.), but it has been something I noticed even back when I was in college a decade ago. I knew plenty of people that faked symptoms to get a prescription. Meanwhile, I had to go through all kinds of testing, interviews, etc. to get legitimately diagnosed. However, I do not fault the individuals who take any substance medicinally or otherwise. We are all trying to make in this world, and I think a lot of our culture has created a demand that leaves many with no other options -- sink or swim.

sibeliuss 3y ago
Just to be clear, ADHD is certainly a real thing, and I have a lot of compassion for those who suffer it. My anecdotal story is all about being able to clearly identify when someone is suffering from addiction or drug abuse, having been there myself. Such outcomes are a natural side-effect of a culture that overprescribes addictive (and often very enjoyable) chemical stimulants.
- hirvi74 3y ago
  I'm sure you are well aware of the connection between ADHD and addiction to begin with. I am prescribed stimulants for ADHD. Just because you need something doesn't mean it can't be addictive (I know you didn't say otherwise). With that being said, I am without a doubt dependent on the medication (that's kind of the point), but am I addicted? Well, I ask myself that everyday. I would argue to some degree, I probably am too.
  - lazide 3y ago
    Chances are, if you’re worried about it that way, you aren’t.
    - sibeliuss 3y ago
      As someone who has been through the addiction loop, I can say a) it's a good thing that he's thinking that way, it is good to be conscious of these things; b) that even the slightest question about addiction points to something significant, something to watch very closely; and c) consciousness about these things can never be used as an excuse to ignore it.
      - lazide 3y ago
        Good points. However, it’s also an extremely common reason people with ADHD use to go off their meds, when looking in from the outside they clearly weren’t addicted by literally any definition of the word. It would be like if someone who suffered from chronic dehydration worried they were addicted to water because they were drinking the amount prescribed for them after having a medical diagnosis related to it, so they stopped. Then, of course, went back to the prior state which was ‘normal’ to them. Which is why it’s all best done under the supervision of a qualified professional who hopefully isn’t a fuckup.
      - hirvi74 3y ago
        If you don't mind me asking, what were the signs you were addicted to something vs. dependent on something? I understand both are not mutually exclusive like in alcohol, for example. While I have been addicted to tobacco, I fail to see how a people who are addicted to tobacco/nicotine are different than me (a stimulant is a stimulant). Is the difference sheerly due to the harm tobacco causes? I do not feel like if I lost access to medication I would go and start pawning off stolen car radios to get my fix, but I feel like I would absolutely "hot-swap" to something else like caffeine (it's what I used prior to medication). I do not think I abuse the medication or anything -- no all nighters, no running out before my next prescription, etc.. I try to take one day a week off them, but that one day is sometimes uncomfortable. I would say my relationship to the medication is very "Flowers for Algernon" in a sense. I've almost lost access to medication due to all kinds of non-behavioral reasons like prescription issues, medication shortages, etc.. That always sends me into a spiral of anxiety and stress, but mainly because I feel like my life will fall apart quite quickly without the medication. However, at the same time, I wonder if I am being delusional because it's not like the medication makes me some kind of FAANG developer or anything. I'm still just your lowly below-average developer working at an undervalued and dead-end job for my local government. It's about as easy as it gets in terms of jobs, and I feel like I can barely keep my head above water.
- lazide 3y ago
  I have yet to meet someone with ADHD who enjoys the medication. In fact, most folks I know with ADHD are often trying to avoid taking them. It’s a pretty meaningful, objective difference actually between ‘normals’ and folks with ADHD. The neurochemistry is different for them, objectively and visibly so.
  - LegitShady 3y ago
    The thing is, enjoy isn't even the issue. I have ADHD and I decided against taking medication for it because I found it addictive, and any time I changed the medication I had long periods of ups and downs that I intensely disliked. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm brilliant etc when working with me (not a humblebrag), and that's fine. Internally I absolutely know I'm operating at like 15/100 and I could be operating at 100% with medication. The issue isn't being smart or not, its about impulse control, the ability to focus and put in long hours, etc. I get so much less done than I could get done because I can't focus on the task as much as a normal person can, even if my decision making/research is good. so enjoy or not enjoy, if you want to be operating at the same level as your peers in high performance workplaces what you enjoy doesn't really enter into it. I just found for me the medication was too habit forming, and I'd rather be me at 15% forever and figure out what I can do with that than be at 100% and addicted to amphetamines. I completely understand the other decision, though.
    - lazide 3y ago
      What do you mean by habit forming, exactly? Taking them should be a habit, no?
  - spidersenses 3y ago
    Makes me glad to hear that I'm not the only one, who feels like this. I often think that I'm simply screwed for life: Without medication my life goes off the rails within days, with medication I'm at least barely able to hold it together, but I hate the nausea, hate the rebound (disorientation after the effect wears off), and the fact that I still don't remember to eat and rehydrate properly. I think I would need a life coach for a while, but as I'm surviving on a subsistence level, that's not an option.

sibeliuss 3y ago

Just to be clear, ADHD is certainly a real thing, and I have a lot of compassion for those who suffer it. My anecdotal story is all about being able to clearly identify when someone is suffering from addiction or drug abuse, having been there myself. Such outcomes are a natural side-effect of a culture that overprescribes addictive (and often very enjoyable) chemical stimulants.

hirvi74 3y ago
I'm sure you are well aware of the connection between ADHD and addiction to begin with. I am prescribed stimulants for ADHD. Just because you need something doesn't mean it can't be addictive (I know you didn't say otherwise). With that being said, I am without a doubt dependent on the medication (that's kind of the point), but am I addicted? Well, I ask myself that everyday. I would argue to some degree, I probably am too.
- lazide 3y ago
  Chances are, if you’re worried about it that way, you aren’t.
  - sibeliuss 3y ago
    As someone who has been through the addiction loop, I can say a) it's a good thing that he's thinking that way, it is good to be conscious of these things; b) that even the slightest question about addiction points to something significant, something to watch very closely; and c) consciousness about these things can never be used as an excuse to ignore it.
    - lazide 3y ago
      Good points. However, it’s also an extremely common reason people with ADHD use to go off their meds, when looking in from the outside they clearly weren’t addicted by literally any definition of the word. It would be like if someone who suffered from chronic dehydration worried they were addicted to water because they were drinking the amount prescribed for them after having a medical diagnosis related to it, so they stopped. Then, of course, went back to the prior state which was ‘normal’ to them. Which is why it’s all best done under the supervision of a qualified professional who hopefully isn’t a fuckup.
    - hirvi74 3y ago
      If you don't mind me asking, what were the signs you were addicted to something vs. dependent on something? I understand both are not mutually exclusive like in alcohol, for example. While I have been addicted to tobacco, I fail to see how a people who are addicted to tobacco/nicotine are different than me (a stimulant is a stimulant). Is the difference sheerly due to the harm tobacco causes? I do not feel like if I lost access to medication I would go and start pawning off stolen car radios to get my fix, but I feel like I would absolutely "hot-swap" to something else like caffeine (it's what I used prior to medication). I do not think I abuse the medication or anything -- no all nighters, no running out before my next prescription, etc.. I try to take one day a week off them, but that one day is sometimes uncomfortable. I would say my relationship to the medication is very "Flowers for Algernon" in a sense. I've almost lost access to medication due to all kinds of non-behavioral reasons like prescription issues, medication shortages, etc.. That always sends me into a spiral of anxiety and stress, but mainly because I feel like my life will fall apart quite quickly without the medication. However, at the same time, I wonder if I am being delusional because it's not like the medication makes me some kind of FAANG developer or anything. I'm still just your lowly below-average developer working at an undervalued and dead-end job for my local government. It's about as easy as it gets in terms of jobs, and I feel like I can barely keep my head above water.
lazide 3y ago
I have yet to meet someone with ADHD who enjoys the medication. In fact, most folks I know with ADHD are often trying to avoid taking them. It’s a pretty meaningful, objective difference actually between ‘normals’ and folks with ADHD. The neurochemistry is different for them, objectively and visibly so.
- LegitShady 3y ago
  The thing is, enjoy isn't even the issue. I have ADHD and I decided against taking medication for it because I found it addictive, and any time I changed the medication I had long periods of ups and downs that I intensely disliked. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm brilliant etc when working with me (not a humblebrag), and that's fine. Internally I absolutely know I'm operating at like 15/100 and I could be operating at 100% with medication. The issue isn't being smart or not, its about impulse control, the ability to focus and put in long hours, etc. I get so much less done than I could get done because I can't focus on the task as much as a normal person can, even if my decision making/research is good. so enjoy or not enjoy, if you want to be operating at the same level as your peers in high performance workplaces what you enjoy doesn't really enter into it. I just found for me the medication was too habit forming, and I'd rather be me at 15% forever and figure out what I can do with that than be at 100% and addicted to amphetamines. I completely understand the other decision, though.
  - lazide 3y ago
    What do you mean by habit forming, exactly? Taking them should be a habit, no?
- spidersenses 3y ago
  Makes me glad to hear that I'm not the only one, who feels like this. I often think that I'm simply screwed for life: Without medication my life goes off the rails within days, with medication I'm at least barely able to hold it together, but I hate the nausea, hate the rebound (disorientation after the effect wears off), and the fact that I still don't remember to eat and rehydrate properly. I think I would need a life coach for a while, but as I'm surviving on a subsistence level, that's not an option.