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Employers don’t care. My father died of pancreatic cancer in November 2021. Then in October 2022, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My dad had a busi

by cebert 3y ago

Employers don’t care. My father died of pancreatic cancer in November 2021. Then in October 2022, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My dad had a business with financial issues I also had to close and take care to. At the same time, I needed to help my mother with medical treatments and moving into a smaller apartment. Despite these challenges the past two years, I’ve showed up to work consistently and did my best under the circumstances. During my performance review in January, I had a very negative review. I was told my productivity had declined and I “consistently had challenges” the past year. There was no empathy or understanding of my situation. Employers see us as tools to use, abuse, and throw out with little care of us as an individual. I’m doing the best I can.

Arbortheus 3y ago
Did you talk about these issues with your line manager? What was their reaction? A good manager will be flexible in these scenarios.
- cebert 3y ago
  Yes, my manager is aware of what I’m dealing with in my personal life. However, it doesn’t seem like that has any bearing on performance reviews. I can easily see how people dealing with situations like this can face burnout.
- lelanthran 3y ago
  > Did you talk about these issues with your line manager? Why? They have less power than you to influence things.
nine_zeros 3y ago
> I had a very negative review. I was told my productivity had declined and I “consistently had challenges” the past year. There was no empathy or understanding of my situation. Employers see us as tools to use, abuse, and throw out with little care of us as an individual. I’m doing the best I can. I came here to post specifically about this. I have been there. In the last 1 year, my FIL passed away, grandmother passed away, wife had 2 IVFs and one full-blown miscarriage, Dad was hospitalized for blood sugar spikes, mom was bedridden a few weeks due to blood issues, MIL needed help with property documents and setting up her old age, and my wife's career took a shot because she was a victim of corporate politics. Notice, I haven't talked about myself because I haven't had time to even think about my own well-being. Am I burned out? Likely. What does my employer (and line manager) care about? Why is a risky service being rolled out slowly and why are other reviewers taking a long time to review code. I get a poor performance feedback for cherry-picked instances, thus creating an environment where perfection is required. Walking on eggshells if you will. When someone asks what is wrong with American corporate culture, I empathize. America is an immoral, corrupt and exploitative society.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- cebert 3y ago
  Sorry to hear this. I know it’s rough.
jatins 3y ago
Hope you are in a better state now. > Employers don’t care Relatable. I once spent a couple days in hospital because my friend got into an accident. The first day I show up in office my manager calls me into his office, asks how my friend is and then immediately starts grilling me on how I am behind on my work. And this manager was a good _person_ but these companies push you to be less human at times.
ziml77 3y ago
To just about any business, unless you have a very close relationship with the owner, you really are just another expense. If they think they're losing more money on you than they're earning and that the benefit won't even be realized later, they will get rid of you. It's horrible and yet I can also see their side. The company needs to at least make enough to keep paying all of its other expenses and it gets hard if a lot of people they keep on have similar issues to you. And some of those similar issues might not even be real. There's people who would see the lenience you're getting and take advantage of that to also get undeserved lenience. Here's hoping that you are able to keep your job. A poor performance review still leaves a chance to stay. It sounds like at least some of the things that have needed your time and attention are no longer overlapping, which might be enough to be able to satisfy your employer without going into full burnout.
- piva00 3y ago
  It's like the issue is a whole system of abuse, not individuals and individual companies. The incentives are not aligned with being humane, there's no benefit to actually be human in business apart from showing up on a list as a "great place to work at™", that's the only incentive to put up a humane facade to this faceless monster.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
Clubber 3y ago
I'm having similar family issues like are describing. Fortunately my work is very accommodating. They let me WFH and it's ok if I have to leave with no notice to take care of a family emergency. My company values me as an employee and I value them as an employer. That's how it should be. They're not all horrible out there, but if you find yourself in a horrible place like you are describing, they are not worthy of your hard work. One of the most gratifying things in work is when you are finally fed up and quit, the surprise on your manager's face, like they never saw it coming.

by cebert 3y ago

Arbortheus 3y ago

Did you talk about these issues with your line manager? What was their reaction? A good manager will be flexible in these scenarios.

cebert 3y ago
Yes, my manager is aware of what I’m dealing with in my personal life. However, it doesn’t seem like that has any bearing on performance reviews. I can easily see how people dealing with situations like this can face burnout.
lelanthran 3y ago
> Did you talk about these issues with your line manager? Why? They have less power than you to influence things.

nine_zeros 3y ago

> I had a very negative review. I was told my productivity had declined and I “consistently had challenges” the past year. There was no empathy or understanding of my situation. Employers see us as tools to use, abuse, and throw out with little care of us as an individual. I’m doing the best I can. I came here to post specifically about this. I have been there. In the last 1 year, my FIL passed away, grandmother passed away, wife had 2 IVFs and one full-blown miscarriage, Dad was hospitalized for blood sugar spikes, mom was bedridden a few weeks due to blood issues, MIL needed help with property documents and setting up her old age, and my wife's career took a shot because she was a victim of corporate politics. Notice, I haven't talked about myself because I haven't had time to even think about my own well-being. Am I burned out? Likely. What does my employer (and line manager) care about? Why is a risky service being rolled out slowly and why are other reviewers taking a long time to review code. I get a poor performance feedback for cherry-picked instances, thus creating an environment where perfection is required. Walking on eggshells if you will. When someone asks what is wrong with American corporate culture, I empathize. America is an immoral, corrupt and exploitative society.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
cebert 3y ago
Sorry to hear this. I know it’s rough.

jatins 3y ago

Hope you are in a better state now. > Employers don’t care Relatable. I once spent a couple days in hospital because my friend got into an accident. The first day I show up in office my manager calls me into his office, asks how my friend is and then immediately starts grilling me on how I am behind on my work. And this manager was a good _person_ but these companies push you to be less human at times.

ziml77 3y ago

To just about any business, unless you have a very close relationship with the owner, you really are just another expense. If they think they're losing more money on you than they're earning and that the benefit won't even be realized later, they will get rid of you. It's horrible and yet I can also see their side. The company needs to at least make enough to keep paying all of its other expenses and it gets hard if a lot of people they keep on have similar issues to you. And some of those similar issues might not even be real. There's people who would see the lenience you're getting and take advantage of that to also get undeserved lenience. Here's hoping that you are able to keep your job. A poor performance review still leaves a chance to stay. It sounds like at least some of the things that have needed your time and attention are no longer overlapping, which might be enough to be able to satisfy your employer without going into full burnout.

piva00 3y ago
It's like the issue is a whole system of abuse, not individuals and individual companies. The incentives are not aligned with being humane, there's no benefit to actually be human in business apart from showing up on a list as a "great place to work at™", that's the only incentive to put up a humane facade to this faceless monster.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

Clubber 3y ago

I'm having similar family issues like are describing. Fortunately my work is very accommodating. They let me WFH and it's ok if I have to leave with no notice to take care of a family emergency. My company values me as an employee and I value them as an employer. That's how it should be. They're not all horrible out there, but if you find yourself in a horrible place like you are describing, they are not worthy of your hard work. One of the most gratifying things in work is when you are finally fed up and quit, the surprise on your manager's face, like they never saw it coming.