I used to be in a similar situation. It hurts because I really do want to help people. Often, you're not helping, but merely building co-dependence, or otherwis

I used to be in a similar situation. It hurts because I really do want to help people. Often, you're not helping, but merely building co-dependence, or otherwise teaching them to rely on people. (ie, you, or you next enabler.) Pure sympathy really ends up not being the best way to help people. Setting boundaries, and tough love often go much further to actually changing behaviors.