Out of all the traits, I think an inability empathize - simply to put yourself in someone else’s shoes - is the defining characteristic. Whether you are dealing

Out of all the traits, I think an inability empathize - simply to put yourself in someone else’s shoes - is the defining characteristic. Whether you are dealing with a child, a spouse, a service worker, a friend - the afflicted cannot understand how someone else feels. The “me” focus is overarching and permeates all thoughts and actions. One memory sticks out that perfectly encompasses his malady, is when my wife cooked a big meal for a gathering which included in-laws, friends, and neighbors. When she announced dinner was going to be served, he filled a plate with food and ate by himself at the table, before anyone else had sat down or been served. When asked later why he did that, he came up with a few reasons which essentially were “I was hungry”. I’m leaving out all manner of physical, emotional, manipulative, financial abuse he inflicted but the above anecdote is such a pure distillation of the lack of social grace combined with intense self-indulgence.